


The man of average

by Mylesime



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Closeted Mike Wheeler, Confused Will, F/M, Father & son ressemblance, Former Lovers - Freeform, Future Fic, Gay Will Byers, Implied Sexual Content, Love Triangle, M/M, Mutual Pining, Unhappy Mike, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Will is a porn star
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2020-08-11 13:43:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20154553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mylesime/pseuds/Mylesime
Summary: Twenty-five years after the events with the Upside Down, Mike and Will are living quite different lives. One is a world famous porn star, LGBT sex activist and billionaire. The other, your average American middle-class man, stuck in a loveless marriage in his parent's house with a job he despises and three children. In spite of unresolved feelings known to all, both men try to keep the past in the past and act as friends. But things get tougher when Ravi, Will's boyfriend of ten years, invites the whole Wheeler family to spend the summer on their private island. Shock comes when Nathaniel, Mike's fifteen year-old son and spitting image of Mike at the same age when he and Will were lovebirds, suddenly confesses unrequited feelings for Will, throwing him into a dark ocean of confusion he won't be able to come through and put his lifelong defended moral convictions to the test.





	1. A dinner at the Wheelers

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! New story! I'm trying something new here so I hope you'll like it :)
> 
> It's heavily inspired by the movies American Beauty and Chloe.

**2011 - Hawkins**

Mike Wheeler was a man of average, born and raised in the small, provincial town of Hawkins, Indiana to a traditional nuclear American family with his parents and two sisters. They were all grown now, his sisters living their life in Seattle and San Diego and parents gone to Florida. His childhood friends had left too, years ago, only returning occasionally to visit their aging folks. And now, it was just Mike and his own nuclear family. He had lived in the city for a while, during his College years, until he met a young woman named Jezebel Markowski, an American girl from Polish descent he married at twenty five after she'd gotten pregnant with their unexpected son. And they moved from the city back to Hawkins, in his parents' house that he inherited for the occasion. And just like that, Mike's life was sealed. Two years later, they had a daughter and four years after that, another one, completing the perfect American family painting of mommy, daddy and their three adorable cherubs.

Jezebel was a stay-at-home mom and Mike worked as a clerk in a printing company. Not the most exciting of jobs but it paid the bills and provided food for the whole family which was all that was needed, really.

He didn't hate his life. Not really. Not _completely_. Sure, it wasn't exciting. Younger, he dreamed of becoming a famous writer, turning his campaigns into full fledged stories that would captivate crowds. He wanted to be the new Tolkien. _The new Tolkien!_ Thirty years later, he laughed at his own candid naivety. He wanted to live on a boat too, with only love and sun and water as fuel. You're stupid like that when you're twenty and he was no different.

Now, at forty, all his childhood dreams had long been buried and forsaken. He couldn't stay idle with a child coming and selling printers was a mature job, an adult job, something real and responsible. And his house was clean and homey. Jezebel was good at this kind of thing. And she always wore floral dresses with her blond hair tied in a loose bun.

He sniffled, securing his bag of groceries under his arm and opened the car with the other. Looking absentmindedly at his surroundings, his eyes fell on the facade of the bookstore just across the street and he froze. Among the books and magazines on display, there was the new edition of People magazine.

The title read, _"WILL BYERS, THE CONQUEROR, HOW HE REVOLUTIONIZED THE PORN INDUSTRY."_

His heart sunk in his chest. Will Byers was his best friend from childhood, among other things. They had grown up together in this small town before Will brutally moved to Chicago with his mother and siblings when he was fourteen. Now, his best friend, among other things, and Godfather of his elder daughter, was a porn star! If someone had told him decades prior that shy, cute little Will would end up fucking men in front a camera and pose naked in magazines for a million dollars, he wouldn't have believed them! This just wouldn't have made any sense. And yet. Will _was_ a porn star. A Superstar even. And it was damn awkward. He had never watched any of Will's movies per se. He had roamed the Internet sometimes, out of boredom and curiosity, falling across a video of Will being sucked off in oil, and it had made him uncomfortable as hell. A bit grossed out too. The worst was visiting him on set. _Oh boy_, that was unpleasant. And Mike avoided it unless he didn't have a choice, like this one time he had to let baby Nate to Will's care because Jezebel was having post birth complications and Mike had to go to work to pay for the hospital bill.

Bursting in the studio with a crying baby and crossing rooms full of naked men and women doing all sorts of sexual activities everywhere only to find his best friend naked, his cock buried in a stranger's ass with a camera right on them and a guy on a chair, shouting "Try another angle honey, so we can see your lovely cock better!" was a most awkward, most surreal experience he'd ever lived and never wanted to reproduce. When he told his wife he’d left their two weeks old infant on a porn set, she yelled at him, said it was going to leave their child traumatized and scarred. Fifteen years later, Nate didn't look traumatized or scarred. He was a polite and well behaved kid, did good in school, had healthy friends. And most importantly, he wasn't interested in dating, which was a very, very good point as far as his religious mom was concerned. He didn't seem to be interested in girls or boys - Mike wouldn't have cared if it were the case - and spent his days reading and playing video games. And he loved Will. All his kids did. Will was like a surrogate dad to them and Mike was glad. Will was very important to him, after all.

Jezebel had her reservations. She disapproved of his job and lifestyle, among other things, but she was clever enough to know not to interfere in her husband and his best friend's complicated relationship. And she knew Will was a good and healthy man, dedicating his life to helping young people.

He blinked, swallowing on empty, his eyes still glued on the magazine cover.

It was a photo of Will clothed (for once), wearing a revealing black shirt that stuck to his toned body, showing glimpses of skin and tattoos from its designed holes. His bronze-colored hair was disheveled in an elaborated mess, his hand holding his head with a cigarette between two fingers, his pink, full lips, parted to expire a round of smoke. It wasn't fully sexual but it still was a very erotic photo. Inviting. Sinful. But then again, Will was sin incarnated. And it made Mike's heart hammer in his chest and ears buzz, oblivious to the rest of the world.

He sucked in a deep breath, forcing unsolicited memories away. Those days were long gone. He wasn't bitter. He _wasn't_. He had chosen this life. It was for the best, the right - mature - thing to do! He sighed, still looking at Will's flawless beauty. He was still as breathtakingly gorgeous as when he was twenty. And it wasn't even that photoshopped. Mike knew the guy in real life, after all. Will was flawless naturally. And Mike, with his growing baldness, beer belly and stress wrinkles paled in comparison. He was far from the dark-haired tantalizing ephebe he used to be. Really far… He barely recognized himself anymore.

He shook his head. This wasn't the moment to reflect and wallow in self-pity. He was passed forty and didn't have Will's money. He didn't have time to go to the gym or get a personal coach. He didn't have time to do yoga, diet and care for himself. He worked twelve hours a day for minimum wage and had three kids to look after! Will didn't. Will spent his days soaked in massage oil with his cock constantly warmed up!

In opposition, Mike had sex maybe once or twice a month, at best! And most of the time an unsatisfactory quickie before sleep in the dark.

Clearly, they lived quite different lives.

He sighed to himself. Will was coming over for dinner later that evening and he was happy to see him. He was coming with his boyfriend Ravi, a nice guy. A porn actor too. Not as famous as Will but they still shot a lot of sextapes together and Ravi was known enough in the gay porn scene. They had been together for ten years but didn't have any children. Will said it was for the best, given their job and life. He didn't want his kid to be under media scrutiny. This was a cruel world after all and Mike could only agree with Will, even if it was a waste. Will would have made a wonderful dad.

He frowned, clearing his thoughts, and pushed the bag of groceries in the back seat of the car before hopping in and turning the engine, Will's photo cover following him from the corner of his eye down the street.

He made it home in minutes, calling for his wife as he entered their house. It hadn't changed much from when he was a kid himself. The furniture was mostly the same, with the same old tattered couch and white carpet. The only things that did change were the new, modern flat TV screen, a new minibar, and pictures of his wife and children hanging on the walls and the fireplace. It smelled the same too. Like old cracking wood and dust.

Jezebel joined him in the hall, a wooden fork in hand, pink apron secured around her hips. She was a petite woman with small curves and long wavy blond hair.

"Did you find the chicken?" she asked in her high-pitched voice.

"I found breast plates," he answered, taking them from the bag. "Is this what you wanted?"

She rolled her eyes, eyeing the meat package with a pout of disgust and annoyance.

"I told you to take a full organic chicken! I'm not going to serve Will and Ravi cheap chicken breast plates! They're probably coming with an extravagant dessert or bottle of wine!" she put her hands on her hips, something she always did when she was upset, "Breast plates! Really, Mike?!"

Mike sighed, already feeling tired, "Well, I couldn't find your organic chicken!" he said, removing his jacket that he hang on the coat-hanger by the door.

"Did you just look?" she insisted.

"Yes, yes I did! I searched every alley. I couldn’t find anything. There was only that!"

She huffed, looking into the bag, shaking her head disapprovingly before disappearing with it in the kitchen, mumbling to herself words he couldn't decipher. He rolled his eyes, glad for the returned silence. At the same moment, Julie, his seven year-old daughter came running down the stairs and jumped in his arms happily.

"Daddy!"

“Hey sweetie!” he replied, adjusting his grip so that she wouldn’t fall, "How was your day?"

"I did that for Will," she exclaimed, showing him a sort of necklace she had made herself with pearls.

"It's beautiful, sweet pea. Will is going to love it."

Her face broke into a huge, toothless smile. He put her down with a small grimace of muscle fatigue. He was getting too old for that.

"There's one for Ravi too."

"That's good. He's gonna love it."

Her smile widened and she disappeared into the lounge, jumping on the sofa with her homemade necklaces.

Jezebel's voice rose from the kitchen.

"Mike?" she called, "Can you do the laundry?"

He sighed. She wasn’t waiting for an answer and he knew it. He sniffled and climbed up the stairs to the bathroom. The hamper was full. His shoulders fell and he pulled on the string to remove the bag from the basket, enclosing the dirty clothes in before moving to his kids' rooms in search of more piles he knew he'd find there.

Nate's room - his old room - was always very clean and he only found a jacket on his desk chair that he left there. He didn't find anything in Julie's room either. She was messy but she did put her clothes in the hamper everyday. Shelley's however was another story. Even at almost thirteen she still didn't know how to clean. It was driving Jezebel insane! He sighed, staring at the clothes, dolls, cushions and books scattered all over the room. He took a few dolls and set them back in the trunk, books on the shelves, and pushed the clothes into the bag he was holding, the dust making him cough. Something shiny suddenly caught his attention on the bed and he frowned, looking harder. It was a magazine, torn at the corners, its cover half hidden by the bed sheet. He removed it with a gesture of his hand and sucked in a deep breath. It was the same magazine he had seen on display at the bookstore. His frown deepened. He put the bag of clothes down and took the magazine with trembling fingers. He loved Will but he didn't like the idea of a magazine with pictures of him half naked in his daughter's room.

The magazine easily opened on a double page of Will, as if used to being parted there. It was an interview with text and pictures. On most of them, Will was shirtless, his toned and tattooed torso in full view. He was smoking a cigarette, playing with his hair. The pictures were beautiful. But then again, Will was beautiful, with his golden skin and eyes so green they could have damned souls.

_"I want people to be safe and happy,"_ an extract of the interview read.

He skimmed over the article. Will was talking about his activism and approach to sex and society. He was also talking about himself and his life.

_"I never wanted to be a porn star! It was all chance! If you had told me years ago that I would end up in Porn, I would have been disgusted and probably called you crazy!”_

Mike swallowed, looking at Will, remembering.

_"Porn made me. It revealed me to myself."_

He remembered the words, the arguments. He remembered Will's refusal to listen. He remembered the first time Will told him he'd found a new job to pay for his studies. Something fun, he said, and Mike couldn’t have disagreed more.

His eyes fell on a paragraph about his fights against teen pornography.

_"I arrived at the studio and there was this name on the board that I didn't know. When I went on set, there was a boy - clearly underaged - waiting, already naked. I was supposed to fuck him. And when I asked the director how old this boy was, he told me that it didn't matter. It did. It really did. Teenagers have no place in the industry. I don’t understand how can any adult find that hot. It’s disgusting and I fear for those guy’s children. There’s something inherently wrong in the way we diabolize sex and fantasize on youth."_

Mike smiled. Will was the strongest person he knew and he fought hard for his convictions. He had done so much for teenagers, especially for queer ones. He intervened in schools to educate about safe sex, gave conferences, had a YouTube channel where he posted educational videos on sexuality, consent and gender equality. He also had a mailbox teenagers could use for advice and he knew Will always answered. He helped kids victims of rape and harassment, had even founded an association so they could find a temporary shelter. He was a great person. And Mike truly admired him.

His chest heaved with a surge of emotion as he touched one of the pictures, tracing the curves of Will’s beautiful face fondly.

"Dad?"

The voice forced him back to reality and he turned to see his daughter standing in the doorway, her lips extended in a grimace of confusion, showing her braces. She looked like Nancy, with her long chestnut hair. But she had her mother's nose.

"What are you doing in my room?" she asked.

He let the magazine fall against his side, taking a breath to regain composure.

"I'm doing the laundry. And this is not a room. This is a vortex of entropy."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever! Don't be in my room!"

He gave her a pointed look, lifting the magazine up again for her to see.

"Where did you get that?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Why do you care?"

He sighed. Teenagers. How was he supposed to say it? It was so awkward. Things were a lot easier when their only concern was to run down the stairs on a skateboard.

"Look, Shelley," he began, scratching his head to find appropriate words, "I'm not mad or anything. You can read the magazines you want. Just, please tell me you didn't buy it because Will is in it? I mean, I wouldn't be… mad... if you did. Just, he's your godfather… So, it's kind of… you know," he explained painfully with a grimace of embarrassment.

"Ew, dad! Gross! He's old!" she answered, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Well, for you maybe. But he's not that old!" Mike said, not appreciating being called old indirectly. They were the same age after all.

"Still dad, it's gross! I just wanted to read the article on Nina Dobrev. She plays in the _Vampire Diaries_ and I love her."

He furrowed his brow, looking at the cover with confusion. It did mention an article on _Vampire Diaries_ page 16. He swallowed, feeling stupid.

“Oh.”

"Can you please go now?" his daughter asked impatiently.

He snapped back to his senses and nodded, his hand tightening around the bag, heading back toward the corridor. She closed the door behind him and he stayed unmoving for a few seconds, thoughts racing in his head before climbing down the stairs to the laundry room.

He joined his wife in the kitchen half an hour later, leaving the dirty clothes to the care of the washing machine. She was already preparing dinner.

"What are you making?"

"Roasted chicken and potatoes," she turned to him, "They eat potatoes, right? I know they're both super annoying with their diet."

Mike rolled his eyes, "Yes, they eat potatoes!"

He took a beer from the fridge.

"A beer?" she asked with a frown, "Really, Mike?"

He shrugged, uncapping the bottle.

"You put on weight," she said, eyeing him from head to toe with a pout, "Will and Ravi are annoying with their diet but you should listen to them a bit more! At least, they look good!"

"They're porn stars! Of course they're gonna look good! I don't have thousands of guys jerking off on my picture! So what's the point?!" he took a sip from his beer.

She looked at him with squinted eyes, hands on her hips.

"But you do have a wife who wants to be with a man. Not an ape!"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not that fat!"

"You're not _fat_ but you have a few pounds to shed! And drinking beer isn't going to help!"

He shrugged, lips clamping the bottle neck, sucking on the bitter liquid absentmindedly.

"Where is Nate?" he suddenly asked, looking around him as if the utensils and roasting potatoes held all the answers, "He should be home by now."

"He’s with his friend Jessie. They had a project to work on."

Mike frowned, thinking. He wanted to ask the question. But he knew Jezebel wouldn't be receptive and he was too tired to fight. He took a long sip of his beer, watching her put the chicken breasts in the oven.

"Don't look at me like that," she said, annoyed, "Set the table!"

He sighed and nodded, dragging his feet to the cabinet, his lips glued to his beer. He grabbed a couple of plates from the shelves, the ones they used all the time, plain and white, when Jezebel stopped him with a screech.

"Not those ones!"

His hand stilled on the third plate and he swallowed back a sigh.

"Take your mom's!" she said.

He frowned, opening his mouth in confusion.

"Really?"

"Yes. Really," she answered, returning to her chicken.

He rolled his eyes, putting the plates he was holding back on their shelf.

"It's ridiculous," he muttered, "They're porn stars. Not Kings!"

"And yet Will's jeans are more expensive than this whole house. I don't want us to pass for poverty-stricken slobs!"

"We're not poverty-stricken! We earn like an average American family!"

"With those plates you were gonna use? It would have been _A night at the Wheelers _by Charles Dickens! I'm already serving them food for the poor, make at least an effort on the presentation!"

"Ridiculous!" he mumbled again, finishing the last of his beer before crossing the arch to the dining room.

It was always the same! Whenever Will and Ravi visited, she always had to make a scene! Now it was the food, but later it would be their appearance and the cleaning of the house to the gutter. The same insufferable drama for the past fifteen years. He shook his head to himself, opening the doors of the china cabinet and took a pile of the hand painted plates he had inherited from his great grandmother. They only used them for special occasions. Christmas, birthdays, weddings. And when Will and Ravi came. So approximately four times a year.

Still annoyed by his wife's antics, he began to set the table, sniffling and looking at himself. Yes, he had taken a few pounds. He knew that. And so what? It's not like he had anyone to impress anymore.

The doorbell chimed a bit after 7 and Mike rushed to open. He was overexcited, way more than a forty year-old married man should have been seeing his childhood friend and he knew it. Not that he cared. He hadn't seen Will in more than three months and he missed him dearly. He tore the door from its inches impatiently and a man appeared in the frame. A beautiful man, ageless, with bronze-colored hair and sparkling green eyes. He was smiling at Mike, flashing perfectly white teeth and Mike felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. He swallowed the gulp stuck in his throat for hours and enclosed the man in an embrace of steel, pressing their bodies together.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered, rubbing his cheek against Will's like two animals from the same pack recognizing each other.

Will hugged him back, his hands touching his back.

"Me too," he whispered.

The sound of heels pushed them apart. Jezebel was looking at them from the corner with the expression of a hawk. She was wearing the black dress she always wore to go with the china plates, her blond hair loose, eyes and lips colored with light makeup.

"Hi Will," she said softly.

"Hi Jezebel."

They hugged.

“Are you alone?” she asked, pulling away.

"Ravi’s coming. He just had something to do before. He'll be here soon,” he produced a bottle from his side, “Here.”

It was a French wine. And just by its look and date, Mike knew this wasn’t a bottle they could have afforded even after a year of saving. Something Jezebel would pester him endlessly with.

"Thank you, Will."

Will removed his jacket and put it next to Mike’s and Mike swallowed. He was dressed in casual, a simple blue shirt and jeans that made quite the contrast with Jezebel’s reception dress and Mike’s washed out suit. And yet, even in such a modest outfit, Will looked classier than both of them which wasn’t surprising from someone who could earn gazillions of dollars only naked. He was taken from his thoughts by a sudden burst of thunder that roared through the hall, making the walls tremble. Turning to check behind him, he saw that the thunder had chestnut braided hair and jumped from the last stair right onto Will.

“Will!”

“Hey, Julie!" he lifted her up, making her spin and she giggled. Mike smiled in spite of himself, “How are you doing, my little darling?”

“Good!” she said laughing, her arms in the air as if pretending to be a plane.

Will set her back on her feet and she handed him the necklace, pushing it into his face.

“I made that for you!” she said proudly, “There’s one for Ravi too. My teacher said that I shouldn’t be making necklaces for men because necklaces are for girls but since you’re gay and you kiss boys I supposed it’s kind of the same!”

“Julie!” Mike immediately reprimanded her, “Don’t say stuff like that! It’s homophobic!”

“Oh Mike!” Jezebel muttered, rolling her eyes.

Will smiled, taking the necklace and kneeling to be at her level, “Thank you sweetie,” he said softly, “It’s very nice. You’ll give the other to Ravi, ok?”

She nodded happily and he ruffled her hair. She went off, replaced by Shelley who made her entrance, greeting Will warmly.

They continued to the lounge and took seats on the sofa and armchairs around the coffee table covered in various appetizers Jezebel had probably been preparing the whole day. As usual, there was too much food.

“How’s your mom?” Mike asked as they both settled into the couch, close by.

"Will, do you want to drink something?" Jezebel interjected.

"A whisky, if you have,” he answered before turning his attention back on Mike, “She’s fine. She was a bit tired with all the hospital trips but she’s ok now. I’ll return to Chicago at the end of the month anyway. I haven’t been able to go as much as I wanted with all the touring.”

“How has it been going? The touring?”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jezebel took the bottle of Dead Rabbit from the cabinet, their best bottle of whisky, and pour two slugs into a glass that she slid toward Will.

"Thanks Jez," he said, taking it.

Mike looked at the glass then his wife who was fixing herself a glass of Martini.

"You're not asking me what I want to drink? I want some whisky too!"

"You've drank enough already!"

He rolled his eyes, "I only had one beer!"

"Which you really didn’t need!"

"I'm fine!" he said, exasperated.

She turned to Will, hands on her hips.

“Tell him, Will! Tell him he put on weight and needs to cut down on sugar and alcohol for a little while!”

Mike sighed. He hated it when she did that, when she used Will against him. Will chuckled, looking at them both with a little smirk.

“He could come run with us,” he proposed.

“All the way from Hawkins?” Mike replied.

“Yeah. You take the plane from Indianapolis and in - what? - two hours you’re in New York, joining us for our Sunday jog! Easy peasy!”

“Sure! I’ll do that!” Mike laughed. Will winked at him and Mike felt a knot form in his gut. He turned to Jezebel instead, “Jez?!”

She huffed, “Fine, fine!” and grabbed a glass, pouring the same amount of whisky as she had for Will, “Here, have your whisky!”

He took it, “Thanks!”

“Oh, don’t thank me! I’m not the one who’ll die of cirrhosis!”

Beside them, Julie and Shelley sent each other a knowing look that didn’t go unnoticed by any of the adults. Will smirked, shaking his head a bit. Mike brought the glass to lips, swallowed a sip and turned to Will again, ignoring Jezebel who was passing the tray of appetizers rather insistently, playing housewife as she had been taught to.

“Later, mom!” Shelley whined, “You’ve already proposed me three times in a minute!”

“Fine, you don’t need to be rude!”

She proposed the tray to Julie who took a canopy. Will took one too with a gentle nod. Mike dismissed her with a glare, waiting for the silence to return so that he could finish his conversation with his best friend.

“So, this tour?” he asked again, “How did it go?”

Will licked the crumbs from his lips and Mike’s eyes darted up and down, following the movement of his tongue. A reaction Will seemed not to notice.

“Good, good,” he said, “I finished my last conference yesterday. It was a very interesting three weeks. Got to meet loads of nice people.”

“Weren’t you harassed too much?” Jezebel asked, presenting the tray again to Shelley who probably wished she could turn her mother to stone by the sheer force of her eyes.

He shook his head, “No. Most people are very nice. They’re here to educate themselves on specific topics. Sure, you always have one insistent fan or two but usually, I turn them down and they go without a problem.”

He didn’t say more. He never talked about his job in front of children and always remained as evasive as possible. At the same moment, the doorbell rang and Will uncrossed his legs.

“It must be Ravi,” he said.

Jezebel nodded and disappeared in the hallway to open the door. A few seconds later, a boy with black unruly hair and a leather jacket burst into the room. It wasn’t Ravi. It was Nate, Mike’ son, coming back home from God knew where.

“Hi everyone,” he said.

Mike blinked and jumped off the couch as if about to pounce on his son like a wolf.

“Where have you been?” he asked in a growl.

The boy didn’t react. He was staring at his father with a small frown of confusion and a pout, shaking his head to remove the dark bangs from his eyes. He was the spitting image of Mike at the same age. The same black hair. The shame dark eyes. The same freckles. The same tall, gangly form. The same explosive temper. They could have been clones. It was almost unsettling.

“I asked you a question,” Mike insisted, gripping his glass of whisky in his fist.

The teenager’s frown deepened. He sniffled and took a few chips from the bowl on the coffee table, popping them into his mouth with an air of defiance. Mike flared his nostrils, red in the face.

“I told you, Mike,” Jezebel intervened, “He was at Jessie’s.”

Mike didn’t pay his wife any heed and kept his attention locked on his son.

“You could have sent us a text! Do you know what time it is?!”

He was fuming already. On his left, Will put his hand on his arm to calm him.

“Mike…” he whispered soothingly and Mike’s body began to shake from the burning touch, tingling all over.

Jezebel eyed her husband menacingly, “He did send me a text!” she said, defending her son before Mike’s anger became a nuisance to her pristine dinner party.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I told you! I told you he was at Jessie’s! Not my fault you don’t listen!”

The air was thick enough to cut with a knife. The two girls shook their heads with a grimace. Father and son were staring at the other like two bulls ready to charge, Jezebel in between, acting as a shield. Will wasn’t moving from the couch, observing the situation from afar, sipping on his whisky.

"Please, enough you two," she whispered, "We have guests."

Mike sighed and returned to sit with a last glare at his son who glared back before turning to Will, his defiant expression replaced by a smile and a blush he was trying not to show too much.

"Hi Will.”

Will moved from the couch to hug Nate warmly.

"Hey kid! It's good to see you! I swear you're even taller than the last time I saw you! Soon, you'll be taller than your dad!"

Mike choked on his drink but they ignored him.

"Sorry for the grand entrance," Nate apologized.

Will shook his head, "It's fine. Don't worry about it!"

Nate’ smile widened and so did the pink hue on his cheeks. Jezebel fixed her untouched canopies, presenting the tray again, and Mike groaned in his glass of whisky.

The doorbell rang a second time.

"Ah," Jezebel said, "This time it must be Ravi."

She went off in a clicking of heels. The voice of a man rose in the hall, apologizing for being late, short of breath, sounding absolutely panicked. They all chuckled. Yes, this was Ravi. A few seconds later, she returned to the lounge with a tall bearded man with jet black hair and olive skin dressed in a black vest and light blue jeans.

"Hi," he said in a thick English accent, "I'm so sorry for being late," he went to peck Will on the lips, "Hey babe."

"Did you find the paprika your mom wanted?" Will asked.

Ravi nodded, "Yes, with much difficulty."

"Paprika?" Mike repeated.

Ravi nodded, "Every year it's the same thing. My mum wants me to bring her a special sort of Paprika with honey that she uses for cakes. And I can only find it in a small Paki store in Chicago."

"And not in England?"

"Not this one. And she wants this one. Not any other. And when she wants something, she’ll pester you until she gets it."

He sat in one of the armchairs, looking positively exhausted.

"Do you want something to drink?" Jezebel asked softly.

"An ice cold beer would be wonderful!"

She turned to Shelley, currently playing on her phone. Her sister had disappeared and Nate slumped into a chair with a glass of milk, looking at the couples with rebellious disinterest.

"Shelley, can you get a beer from the fridge for Ravi?"

The teenage girl sighed but obeyed, pushing on her feet to get off the couch and go to the kitchen. The adults began to chat, Mike asking Ravi about his trip, accepting canopies from Jezebel who would have probably murdered them all if they hadn't. Nate put his empty glass on the table and licked his lips, eyes glued on Will.

"Will," he tried, his voice wavering with hesitancy, "Do you have a minute? I need your opinion on something."

Will swallowed and put his glass on the coffee table, uncrossing his legs.

"Sure thing, kiddo."

He followed the teenager out of the room. Jezebel immediately arched her brow at her husband expectantly, looking between Mike and the pair disappearing upstairs with an absurd expression. Mike frowned, shook his head and shrugged, ignoring her to respond to Ravi who accepted the beer from Shelley.

Meanwhile, Nate led Will to his room, feeling a little nervous. He had made sure to clean it well, just in case. He didn’t want to pass for a slob, especially not in front of Will. He licked his lip and went to fetch something from behind his desk.

"Here," he said, producing a huge canvas, "It's a project for art class but I'm lost on the color palette. What would you choose?"

He put the canvas on the floor for Will to judge and see. It was a sketch of a deformed skeletal silhouette, its huge mouth wide open in a silent scream, the shape of a smaller silhouette pushing against its skin from the inside, as if trying to escape.

"What's the theme?" Will asked.

"Individuality," Nate answered.

Will smirked, “Looks painful.”

Nate shrugged and waited as Will examined the drawing, tracing the contours with his fingers.

“You’re into surrealism, eh?” he noted, “It’s good. Pretty good.”

The compliment went straight to Nate’s heart and he bit his lip awkwardly.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah. I like it. What colors are you gonna use?”

“I was gonna go on yellow and green but I’m not sure. I’m afraid that might be too nightmarish.”

“Isn’t it the tone you want to set?”

Nate nodded with a shrug.

“Yellow and green sound good to me,” Will continued, “But lighter on the green. And don’t hesitate to insist on the contours with black to give it as much relief as possible. Adding shades of grey could be nice too,” he pointed at the figure, “Here and all around here, to make it a bit of a shadow.”

“Yeah, that’s cool. I like the idea!” Nate agreed, smiling at the man who smiled back, “Thanks.”

“My pleasure. But it’s very good. You’re very talented!”

Nate blushed in spite of himself, happy that Will enjoyed his hard work, and put the canvas back in its hidden place before his mother found it and gave him Hell about it - she only liked paintings with flowers and ladies in fancy dresses and if she ever saw the dark pieces he drew, she would send him either to the priest or a therapist. He didn’t really know which.

“Do you still draw?” he asked Will who was looking about the room, hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. A gesture so casual for most but that gave Will an air of sophistication that always made Nate’s heart beat too fast.

Will turned to look at him with a small smirk.

“Yes I do. In my leisure time. Drawing will always be a part of me.”

“Will you show me some of your work someday?”

Will smiled at him, “Sure! There are stuff you might like.”

Nate’ lips stretched to his ears, his heart hammering in his chest joyfully, palms sweaty with too much emotion. At the same moment, Jezebel’s voice rose into the corridor, calling them to dinner. Nate sighed and followed him down the stairs with a pang of disappointment. She was waiting for them at the bottom and immediately assaulted Will to know if he ate potatoes. When he answered that he did, she softened up, all smiles, and they gathered around the table, Mike opening a good bottle of wine. As usual, there was too much food and she insisted to fill everyone's plate to the fullest.

"Will you return to England soon?" she suddenly asked Ravi, turning to look at him across the table.

Ravi swallowed his bit of chicken and wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin, "We're going back for Aid-el-Fitr. We'll be staying in Liverpool for about a week, I think."

"Summer vacation in England, the dream!" Will ironized and his boyfriend glared at him.

"Please ignore Will,” Ravi said, “He’s bitter because he’ll have to cohabit with my uncle Salim. They’re great friends!”

“What’s wrong with your uncle?” Mike asked, cutting Julie’s meat in her plate.

“He’s an old pig,” Will spat.

“Translation,” Ravi clarified with an amused smile, “He and Will don’t have the same moral standards.”

“He’s a seventy-eight year-old pervert married to a girl almost forty years younger!” Will interjected, “She was barely legally an adult when he married her!”

“Good gracious!” Jezebel whispered, her hand stilled on her glass of wine.

Ravi sighed, “Unfortunately, the legal age to marry in my parent’s country is fifteen. Iman was sixteen. So she was of age.”

“Legal or not, it doesn't change the fact that it's repulsive,” Will continued with a grimace, “Something must be going terribly wrong in your head if you’re an adult and you marry a kid!”

“Again my love, different cultures here! Not too long ago, may I remind you that kings and queens were betrothed in the crib!”

Will dismissed Ravi’s comment with a gesture of his hand, as if removing the words from the air. Silence returned for a little while as they ate and drank.

"You don't think two people with an age difference can love each other and be happy?"

Nate's question was so genuine, it surprised everyone and they all looked up from their plate to stare at him. His eyes were glued on Will with an indescribable expression.

Will blinked.

"Depends on the age gap," he answered slowly, "A few years is ok, I guess. If the two persons are already both adults then why not. But here, it's a kid with someone much, much older. Someone old enough to be their grandfather almost. It's unacceptable."

"Yeah, it's gross," Shelley said, looking at her brother as if he were an anomaly.

Nate shrugged, “Maybe this one case is. But not all.”

He went back to sulking, looking stubbornly into his plate. For a long minute, all eyes were on him. Only Julie remained oblivious of the world, playing with the food on her plate. She was too small to understand what was happening around her anyway. Mike brusquely changed the subject, proposing more wine and Jezebel pushed the plate of chicken and potatoes toward Will again. The rest of the dinner went rather smoothly, the adults all chatting energetically with each other, most of them trying to politely decline Jezebel’s insistence to fill their plates a fourth time. Nate was still staring down with the expression of a prisoner, regularly looking at Will and Ravi with sad eyes none of them seemed to have noticed.

After they all had their share of an enormous homemade strawberry cake, Jezebel disappeared upstairs to put Julie to bed and Shelley followed them. Mike launched a playlist of old rock music and produced some Brandy Ravi had offered them years ago from the cabinet. He filled three small glasses. Nate could have gone to his room but for some reason he chose to stay with the three men, wallowed in the couch, eyes glued on his phone while Ravi, Mike and Will kept chatting about politics and life projects.

“About that,” Ravi said, “We’ll stay at Islavadora in July and with Will we were wondering if you guys wanted to tag along? The house is big enough!”

This was a huge understatement. Islavadora was their own private island between Cuba and the Floridian coast, home of a huge Spanish villa they used as a vacation house. Many parties happened there and not exactly children friendly. Mike was even sure some of their movies had been shot in those rooms and by the pool. He shuddered just thinking about it.

He swallowed his gulp, about to answer, but Nate beat him to it before he had even time to open his mouth.

“Oh say yes, dad!” he said excitedly, “Say yes!”

Mike glared at him and turned to Ravi, “Why not! I’ll ask Jez about it.”

Nate pulled a face and crossed his arms on his chest, “Sure, do that. She’ll say no!”

Mike sighed, “Nate, I can’t make a decision for the whole family without asking the approval of the other head of this family. You know that.”

“You’re the man of the house,” Nate grumbled, “You should be the one making the decisions!”

“Hey!” Will reprimanded with a small tap, “Not cool, kid! Not cool at all. Your mom is just as entitled to make the decision for your family as your dad!”

Nate bit his lip and looked down in shame. He hated it when Will was mad at him for something. There was a moment of silent tension before Ravi decided to speak again and ease the situation as he could.

“Anyway, know that you are all very welcome!”

“Thanks Ravi.”

The man nodded with a gentle smile and left the couch to go outside for a smoke. Nate followed him, apparently in need of some air as well. At the same moment, the song that was currently playing - an old Black Sabbath song - finished. After a few seconds of transition, the next one began and Mike’s heart missed a beat. He could have recognized those riffs even in a coma. He rose from the couch and walked toward the fireplace, the first chords of _King of the Fools_ filling his soul and heart and brain. As he let the surge of emotions overflow his brain, he felt Will’s presence behind him and froze, his heart in the back of his throat, pounding in his head. Will’s lips touched his ear, his breath damp and hot, and he began to sing along with Dee Snider.

_"Look around me, all I see_  
_ Thousands of faces, wanting me_  
_ How can I lead_  
_ How can I rule_  
_ When I'm the King of the Fools"_

The lyrics made even more sense now than they ever did before, which was particularly ironic. Will’s body was pressed against Mike's back and Mike thought he was going to faint.

_“What kind of kingdom has no throne_  
_ No crown or castle do I own_  
_ I don't have silver, gold or jewels_  
_ Yet, I'm the king_  
_ King of the fools”_

He began to shake. Will’s hands closed on his shoulders to ground him and he felt his body vibrate and float, closing his eyes.

_"And I can't help believing_  
_ The world is on my side_  
_ No, I can't help believing in my heart_  
_ But, I can't stop this feeling_  
_ That I should run and hide_  
_ So, before I die_  
_ I'll sit and wonder why"_

Will slipped his fingers slowly in his, joining their hands on this song that had been theirs and Mike remembered. He remembered all the whispers and promises. He remembered the dreams and the burning passion. He remembered into his flesh and his body arched up against Will’s pelvis, mimicking the old dance it had performed so many times in the past, pulsing, breathing, wanting. He remembered who he was.

_"The outside world can't understand_  
_ Just who we are or what I am_  
_ Well, we don't want their life or rules_  
_ I'll be the king, king of the fools"_

He sucked a breath. Will was almost kissing his neck. Almost. Because he wasn't. It was mostly Mike losing himself, wanting things that he thought gone.

When Jezebel returned, she found the two men entangled into one another by the fireplace, eyes closed, rocking to this god awful song. She hated Twisted Sisters. Positively hated them. But her husband loved that band and their looks and their hair and their music. It was the band of his teenage years. The years that never existed to her. The years she never wanted to hear about again. But looking at the father of her children, wantonly pressed up into another man’s body - especially this man and all there was about him - she felt suddenly ill and couldn't help but be brutally reminded of the truth. Will’s arms had almost encircled Mike’s waist. They were oblivious to the rest of the world, as always when they were together.

The door behind her clicked and laughing voices rose. She turned to the glued pair and cleared her throat before anyone else saw them like this. The last thing she wanted was for her son to be a witness of this distasteful show. The father’ sins had already made enough damage to add more confusion to the poor boy’s troubled mind. They snapped back to reality, as if suddenly remembering where they were and it looked painful, especially for Mike who had the expression of a dazed comatose.

Nate and Ravi entered the room again and she took advantage of the distraction to turn the music off and shut down all unwanted memories, forcing them back to the present, to the only reality there would ever be.

Will shook his head, pulling away from Mike and Mike felt cold.

“It’s getting late, babe,” Ravi said, “We should go.”

Will nodded with a swallow. Mike’s heart constricted in his chest. Ravi hugged Jezebel goodbye, telling her the food was delicious and she cooed. Will and Mike exchanged a look and embraced each other tight.

“You’ll tell me for July, ok?” Will whispered against his cheek.

Mike nodded, “I promise.”

“It’d be awesome to see you.”

“Yeah, it would.”

The embrace seemed to last indefinitely. Eventually, the two men parted and it seemed they had left a piece of themselves stuck to the other. Ravi bid Mike goodbye and Will turned to Nate.

“You’ll send me a text when your project is over?”

Nate smiled, “Sure!”

Will smiled back, “Good.”

He ruffled the kid’s hair as a goodbye and Nate’s heart beat against his rib cage painfully. He wished he had had a hug too.

After the door had closed behind the couple, the house was deadly silent again. Nate went upstairs and Mike joined his wife to help her clean, ignoring the knots in his stomach at the thought that he wouldn’t be seeing Will again before a few weeks. Distance was always so very painful. Even thirty years later.

Nor the wife nor the husband exchanged words for long minutes. Jezebel was cleaning the kitchen while Mike loaded the dishwasher in heavy silence. He didn’t need to ask to know she was mad.

Silence accompanied them to bed. Mike wasn’t very tired but if he lingered in the dining room alone, it would only make it worse. As expected, the moment they slipped under the sheets, she began to kiss and touch him. To reassure herself or claim him back maybe. Mike’s body remained impassive and he wiggled his hips away from her too hungry mouth, as if burned.

"Not tonight, Jez," he said, "I'm tired."

He felt her tense against him for a second and she moved to her side.

"Of course… You're never in the mood after you've seen him."

He sighed, "Please don't start. It's late and I'm tired."

"You're always tired."

"Please don't."

The light switched off as they both laid in oppressive silence, their bodies not touching. He closed his eyes and tried to convey happy, comforting thoughts. A messy dorm covered in posters, a concert, hidden kisses in closed booth. Half returned to images of the past, he heard Jezebel get off the bed and go to the bathroom to take her pills. He wanted to feel bad but was locked inside his own body and brain, oblivious to the pain of others. Oblivious to the fact that in the room that used to be his, a fifteen year-old boy was happily dreaming with the hope of spending an entire month in the house of the one he adored.

And Mike fell asleep, hugging his pillow.


	2. The Dali exhibition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He was etching to add a heart. He really, really wanted to. But he figured it might have been seen as inappropriate. Or not. Will was so oblivious when it came to the true nature of his feelings that he could tell him he loved him and Will would only smile, saying “me too, kiddo” and ruffle his hair like an old dad. It was unnerving. But right now, Nate was so happy that he didn’t care. He was spending the weekend with Will! His parents could bicker at each other about his sexuality for as long as they wanted, right now, life was beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Here's the new chapter!  
It's quite long! When I was finished writing it I was having a headache haha!
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it!

Nathaniel Wheeler was a fifteen year-old teenager like any other. He lived in a house in a small town in rural Indiana, had parents who only married out of convenience rather than actual love, went to the same schools his dad paraded when he was his age, wondered about the point of life daily, watching his mother clean her house more than she talked to her husband and his father drag his feet every morning to a job he hated. He also had two sisters that he sort of tolerated, a pre-teen obsessed with her braces and a blonde pixie who behaved more like a fire alarm that an actual 7 year-old. As far as he was concerned, teaching Julie to talk had been his parent’s biggest mistake but for a reason he couldn't quite understand, they didn’t agree with him and said it was part of her development. He was a rather quiet boy and preferred keeping to himself, reading or working on his art than braving groups of teenagers he didn’t share anything with. Noise and crowded places made him anxious. His mother said he had social phobia but he wasn’t too sure. He mostly found kids his age shallow and unworthy of his time. He enjoyed the company of older people more. His friend Jessy was in College. He majored in Art, Nate’s favorite subject. It always had a special place in his art and was his link to his favorite person in the world.

Because, you see, Nate had a secret. He was in love - soulmate level in love - with the most beautiful, most admirable man ever. The only problem was that this man he loved so much was _way_ out of his reach. It wasn’t so much the gender as the identity of the man in question as well as the age gap. Will Byers. His father’s forty year-old best friend and sister’s godfather. It also happened that his man, almost three times his age, was a porn star, something his religious mother had a very hard time tolerating. She did, for her husband’s sake but Nate knew what she really thought of his career choice. And Will was a Superstar, giving interviews for the most famous magazines and talk shows and recognized everywhere he went. He wasn’t an average porn actor who did drugs and weird movies. No, Will was an aesthete, turning love making on camera into an art form made of colors and dancing bodies. He was an activist and a humanitarian and did a lot for the LGBT community and teenagers.

Nate didn’t identify as gay. He didn't even know if he was gay at all. He loved Will and wanted Will. Only him. He had been in love with that perfection of a man for as long as he could remember. But Will was forty, in a very long term relationship with a guy Nate appreciated and respected a lot and didn’t see in young Nate a potential lover. Not to mention that Will led the strictest policy regarding underage sex and had the deepest repulsion for relationships with an age difference as important as theirs. The man was vocal enough about it in his interviews and that sucked. Nate would have given anything for his beloved to see him and acknowledge him. He wasn’t a baby anymore. He knew how life worked and what he wanted. And he wanted to be with Will, in every possible way. The only person who knew of his dirty little secret was his best friend, Jessy in whom Nate confided everything.

Bored on his bed in the confinement of his bedroom, he grabbed his laptop from the chair nearby and dragged it towards his lap, opening it. He went to check his Twitter and scrolled down his feed. He didn’t follow many people. But he followed Will and Will was very active on Twitter, with more than 72 million followers. He posted messages of hope and acceptance for the LGBT kids, tips, advice and of course, photos and videos. The last one had been posted a few hours before. It was a video featuring one of his conferences.

Nate licked his lip and clicked on play.

Will was on stage, dressed in a black casual outfit, his bronze hair meticulously combed. He looked real good and he knew it. The man was radiating confidence. He cleared his throat and tapped into his mic to test it. When he was satisfied with the sound, he began to talk to the audience.

“Good afternoon everyone,” he said in the mic, “Thank you for being here today.”

People in the audience started yelling in name.

“Thank you,” he said again, chuckling.

He waited for the room to be calm again and continued. Nate was watching with rapt attention.

"For those who don’t know me, my name is Will - Will Byers - and I've been working in the porn industry for the past eighteen years. I'm a porn actor and porn director, specialized in queer Independent adult films. I know you've been following workshops all day and had many other interventions from other activists, from the porn industry or else, and I wanted to talk to you about something that is very important to me. Especially now, in the world we live."

“I fell in the porn industry when I was twenty two. By total chance. It was never something I thought I’d do. As a teenager, I wanted to illustrate comic books. But porn? Never thought of it! I mean, porn actors are perverts, right! They have sex with people on TV! It’s gross!”

The audience laughed. Nate chuckled at his screen, drinking into Will’s beauty.

Will continued, “And things were different back then. There was no Internet and the porn industry was very secluded. You didn’t have YouPorn and porn magazines were very difficult to find! Today, sex injunctions are everywhere. On TV, magazines, social media. Everywhere people are encouraged to have always more sex, experiment more practices with always more partners. And all the porn you can find so easily certainly doesn’t help.”

“Let’s be clear, being a porn actor for almost twenty years, I’m obviously not anti-porn! Far from it. I actually think that porn can be empowering. I mean, I love my job. I love doing porn and I wouldn’t change it for any other. But I’m talking of a good kind of porn here, healthy, responsible and that doesn’t thrive on sexism and abuse. I’ve actually given many conferences on the topic. You can find all those conferences online on my website, Twitter and my channel on YouTube if you’re interested.”

He grabbed the bottle from the chair and took a sip of water before continuing.

“Today, I wanted to talk about the notion - and importance - of consent. We went from a culture of sexual abstinence to sexual abundance. With the Internet, it’s so easy to find all sorts of sex. I remember the time when I had to negotiate for weeks just for a poor magazine featuring shirtless men! My God! All my pocket money went for that magazine! Now, in just a click, all your wildest, most forbidden fantasies, play before you. Awesome, right?! No. Not awesome. Because this abundance of easily accessible sex brings another problem forward. I receive tons of emails everyday. Hundreds of them and I do try to read them all. Some of them are quite creative! But many are questions. Lots of questions about sex and sexuality. Especially from teenagers and young adults. And the notion of consent in those emails is very problematic, hence my presence here with you today. The other day, I received an email that said, “Will, I’d like to do anal with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to let me do it. How can I make her?””

He paused, looking at the people in front of him even though he couldn’t see them, his gorgeous green eyes gleaming like two beacons of light.

“Simple answer, you don’t. If she doesn’t want to do it, then you let it go. She’s not entitled to agree to everything you want to do with her body. And it goes for boys to. It doesn’t work like that.”

He took another sip of water.

“I’ll take an example that I saw online and that I find quite fitting. Let’s say, you’re with someone and that person wants tea. So, you go to the kitchen and you start preparing the tea. You make the water boil, you take a teabag from the cupboard, you pour the water in the mug with the teabag. But when you return to the room, the person who wanted tea in the first place has fallen asleep. Now, what are you going to do? They’re asleep. So you don’t know if they still want tea. You can’t spill the hot tea on them, right or shake them and force it down their throat. It’s rude, you don’t do that. You can’t be mad at them either for being tired and falling asleep, leaving you alone with the mug of tea. Now, let’s say the person drinks the tea you made. Let’s say, they wanted green tea to try the taste. But after a sip, they realize they don’t like green tea after all, that no, it’s yuck, not good. You can’t force them to keep drinking green tea just because they thought they’d like it. If they don’t like green tea, they stop drinking green tea. Same, if the person is drinking the tea but you can see they don’t like it, that they’re grimacing or not looking good, you take the mug away from them, asking them what’s wrong, making sure they still want to drink the tea. And if they don’t, then teatime is over.”

He paused to look at the crowd again.

“It’s the same for sex. You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do with their body. Not ever. Whether it’s a girl with a boy, a boy with a girl, a boy with a boy or a girl with a girl. Consent is key to every sort of relationships. Sex is not a free right. It’s a contract between willing participants who know the rules of the game before it starts. And it’s the parent’s job to make sure their kids know that. Because, yes, teenagers watch porn. I’m sorry, parents. It’s the hard truth. And instead of shaming them and forbidding, talk to them. Educate them. On the notion of consent and the importance of safe sex. Because the Internet is such a dangerous place for your teenagers to be. It’s full of all sorts of sex, most of the time, sexist, unsafe and unhealthy. With actors drugged and treated horribly. With dangerous practices that should never be reproduced at home without proper knowledge and training. Especially not by young people who barely have any experience at all.”

“Never forget that communication is the most important part of intimacy. Don’t hesitate to look for workshops online on sex. Buy books. Stay safe. Sex can be a lot of fun but you don’t do it alone and the person with you matters. And never forget that porn should never be used to teach you sex. Never. I'm especially talking to teenagers here. Be careful what you're seeing online. Don't confuse fantasy with reality. Reality is all you have. Don't ruin it."

“Thank you for your time.”

There was a round of applause. Will saluted with a shake of his hand and disappeared into the back. The video stopped. Nate's heart was beating so fast. Will was so perfect. He was such a role model. He loved him so much!

He began to scroll down again the few messages and links Will had posted next, skimming rapidly over the comments. Most were heart emoticons or praises but some were so explicit they turned his ears a deep shade of pink. Sometimes, Will responded playfully but when the poster of a raunchy comment appeared to be underage, he put them back to their place politely but unceremoniously. Nate frowned. How typical of Will. He scrolled down until his cursor reached a photo that took his breath away. It was a shot of Will, bare-chested in a bathroom, his hair still wet, a towel wrapped around his well defined waist. His lips were contorted in a smirk and his eyes shone greener than ever. Nate’s body began to tremble and he popped an instant boner. Than man looked hot as Hell.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

As expected, the comment section was full of dirty messages. Will being a porn Star, people didn’t censor themselves on what they wanted to do that body. Nate could only moan and agree. He was a walking invitation to debauchery. His eyes remained fixed on the picture for long seconds, his body throbbing with the need of him. He was starved. Starved for this man. Knowing that his father had probably fucked that made him so angry and irrationally jealous. Especially when you saw his father. Sure, Mike had looked good as a teenager - Nate was his clone after all - but now? He had more of the pachyderm than the heartbreaker. It was gross. Will was so perfect. Nate would have done anything for a single touch. He swallowed a gasp. His vision was blurring on Will’s powerful torso and tattooed arms. He needed to see more of him. Needed to see what was under than goddam towel! Luckily for him, that missing element was very easy to find. He only had to tap a few words in the search engine. Taking a small gasp, he looked around, making sure his door was closed and his parents away. When he was certain to be absolutely alone, he opened a private browser to feed his vice.

_Will Byers pornhub_

He swallowed. The first URL led to a video he had already seen countless of times. One of his favorite. Adrenaline rushed to his veins and he began to shake with that familiar dreadful anticipation of the pleasure that was to come.

He clicked on play.

At the very same moment, his father, Mike Wheeler, was going upstairs to ask a question to his son. They were supposed to go out with Jezebel the next day and he wanted to make sure that Nate could babysit his sisters. He was old enough after all. He took the turn and headed to his old room that was now occupied by his son..

It was a short video. No stupid scenario. No cringey dialogue. Only Will, as beautiful as ever, gorgeously naked, being sucked by another guy for three minutes on a bed, his body in full display. Nate’s brain shut down, overwhelmed by a massive rush of endorphins that completely took over his mind and senses. He would have given anything to be that guy on his knees with Will's gorgeous cock against his tongue. His mouth filled with saliva. His hand dropped into his pants, his eyes wide and glued on the screen. He moaned at the first contact of his hand on his aching erection, watching Will stroke the guy’s hair gently, smirking with that little smirk that made Nate’s knees go weak. Nothing could be hotter than this. Nothing. He wasn’t going to last very long. His brow furrowed, focused, drinking into Will’s face and body. He wondered if he tasted as good as he looked.

On the other side of the corridor, Mike had reached his destination and put his hand on the knob that he turned with a swift gesture of his wrist.

Nate was almost there. He could feel it, the tension rising up, swelling in the pit of his belly. His cheeks were flushed, lips parted as he moved his hand frantically under the covers. On the screen, Will was coming, his features breaking into an expression of sheer wanton bliss. He looked so beautiful. Nate wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Kiss him everywhere. He watched him with wide eyes as his body began to convulse and he came in his screen partner's mouth. Nate moaned too. Unable to hold it any longer. And then…

The door burst open on Mike.

“Nate?!”

The spell broke instantly. It was like receiving a dozen buckets of ice cold water at the same time. Father and son were staring at each other in absolute confusion for the longest second ever. Mike didn't need to ask. The situation was pretty much self-explanatory. The second of daze passed, heat slowly rushed up Nate's cheeks and he hurried to close the lid of his computer, his body throbbing with pain. Mike averted his eyes with his hand.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry!” Mike said, turning away in shame.

“Dad!”

“I’m sorry!” Mike repeated, just as red as his son, “Please, do continue what you were doing,” he stuttered awkwardly, “I’ll come back when you’re finished,” he took a step backward before stopping to a halt, “Just, try not to masturbate on anything too weird, ok?” Mike nodded to himself, “Mhh, yeah. Good boy!”

And closed the door, leaving Nate completely frozen and shocked, his heart in the back of his throat. Not anything too weird, uhm? Weirder than jacking off on his childhood best friend who also happened to have played the role of surrogate dad to Nate all his life? He wouldn’t have tested the waters to know. One thing was certain though, he no longer was in the mood to masturbate, feeling sick and nauseous.

His father always had to ruin everything!

Mike joined his wife in the dining room, still very shaken by what just happened. He mostly felt bad for Nate. He had ruined his kid’s solitary session. And been reminded once again that his baby boy wasn’t so much of a baby anymore. He found her fixing the flowers in the vase on the table, her eternal apron secured around her waist. The smell of cooking dough was coming from the kitchen. She had probably baked a cake again.

“What was that?” she asked, “I heard screaming.”

Mike let himself fall into the couch with a long sigh.

“Oh nothing! I just walked in on Nate who was busy…”

He didn’t say more. It was already sufficiently awkward. Jezebel stilled her hand on the vase with a frown.

“Busy?

Mike rolled his eyes. His wife could be so clueless sometimes! He wiggled his brow suggestively.

“Well, you know… Busy… Doing some self-discovery!” he didn’t even know how to phrase this.

It took her a moment to follow him but when she did, her mouth contorted in a pout of disgust.

“Oh Mike! That is repulsive! Oh God!” she looked ready to be sick.

He shook his head in annoyance, “No, it’s not! He’s fifteen! It’s perfectly natural at his age to do this sort of things!

“It’s Will’s fault!” she said.

“Ah! Of course! Something happens in your pants, it’s automatically Will’s fault! Everybody knows that!"

“I saw one of his _educational_ _videos!_ He was encouraging children! Teaching them about masturbation! Children, Mike!”

Mike let go of a sigh, flopping into the armchair with his phone in hand.

“First, they’re not children! They’re teenagers! Second, Will’s not _teaching_ anything! He’s only _explaining_ to those teenagers how their bodies work. It’s biology. Something all parents should do!” he shook his head, opening his Twitter app mechanically.

Jezebel didn’t partake in his logic, “He even tells them how to practice _anal sex!"_ she whispered the words as if they were dangerous curses, "You find that normal?!”

“No, you’re right! They should stay ignorant! Being safe and knowing what you do is overrated! Risking hurting your partner or yourself and smearing shit and blood all over the bed is so much more fun!”

His chest heaved as he took a deep breath to calm his nerves, pressing his finger to check his Twitter feed. He couldn’t see his wife but knew she had stopped cleaning the table to dig burning holes in the back of his skull.

“I don’t want Nate to do that. Not ever.”

“That, my dear, is not your decision to make.”

Mike could feel she wanted to say a lot more. It showed in the way her hand stilled around the rag she was holding and how her features contorted. He waited but she didn’t add anything else, reporting her attention on her table that she began to rub vigorously. Mike rolled his eyes, returning his own attention to his phone. He kept scrolling his Twitter feed down until he came across a photo that froze him to the bones. Will was bare-chested on that picture. Wet and wearing only a towel. The air left his lungs. Jezebel could have spoken again he wouldn’t have heard her. His world had returned to his one constant. That perfection of a man. That perfection of a man he had let go years ago.

Dinner went pretty quiet. Mike and Jezebel were still at odds with each other and Nate hadn’t quite recovered from the shock and embarrassment of his father bursting into his room at the most inappropriate moment. Fortunately, for once he wasn’t saying any name. He didn’t want to imagine his father’s reaction if he had. He munched on his zucchini without much enthusiasm, listening to the heavy silence at the table. His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket and he let go of his fork to check on it.

“Nate!” his mother reprimanded.

Phones weren’t allowed during family dinner. Nate didn’t care. And seeing who had just contacted him, he cared even less. It was a text from Will. The world around him disappeared and his heart began to hammer in his chest as he double clicked on it to read.

_“Hey kiddo!_  
_I don’t know if you’re aware but there’s a super cool exhibition on Dali happening in Chicago next week-end and I thought that maybe you’d like to go? _ _Let me know and I’ll go with you if you want! It’s not too far from Hawkins so I’ll pick you up and drive you back home, no problem!_  
_Will”_

Nate’s lips extended into the happiest of smiles.

“Are you ok?” Shelley asked, looking at her brother as if he were stupid.

He ignored her.

“Dad, can I go see the Dali exhibition next weekend with Will?”

“What exhibition?”

“An exhibition in Chicago. Will just texted me to ask if I wanted to go with him. Please, please say yes! I love Dali! He’s a huge source of inspiration for my art class! Please! He says he’ll pick me up and drive me back home!”

The kid was so excited, it made Mike chuckle.

“Sure, why not!”

His wife immediately glared at him.

“Awesome! Thanks dad!”

He paid his mother no heed and hurried to text Will back.

_“Hey Will,_   
_My dad's ok so YEAH! I’d be super happy to go!”_

Barely a minute later, Will was already responding.

_“Perfect! I’ll pick you up next Saturday around 11am so we can have lunch with Ravi._   
_Ok for you?”_

Still smiling, he texted back.

_“Sounds cool!”_

_“Awesome! Let’s do that! See you on Saturday then ;)”_

_“Yeah, see you!”_

He was etching to add a heart. He really, really wanted to. But he figured it might have been seen as inappropriate. Or not. Will was so oblivious when it came to the true nature of his feelings that he could tell him he loved him and Will would only smile, saying “me too, kiddo” and ruffle his hair like an old dad. It was unnerving. But right now, Nate was so happy that he didn’t care. He was spending the weekend with Will! His parents could bicker at each other about his sexuality for as long as they wanted, right now, life was beautiful.

Life, for Jezebel Markowski, was awful. She was upset. Upset with herself but with her husband mostly, as had been the case for the past twelve years. She took a deep sigh and stared at her reflection in the mirror of her white wood vanity table, a brush combing her long sandy blond hair with the same mechanic gestures she repeated every night. Her husband was preparing for sleep in the adjacent bathroom and she could hear the water flow from the faucet as he rinsed his mouth and washed his hands. She blinked, the fingers of her free hand stroking the flower-shaped brooch she inherited from her great grandmother. The brooch was passed from mother to daughter as a wedding gift. It was a family tradition. Was it Polish, she didn’t know. She had never even been to Poland once. Only remained old grandpa Wójcik’s stories on how his own grandparents immigrated from their village to New York in 1834. But from 1834 onward, every Markowski was born on American soil.

The brooch came from that old village no one remembered. It was supposed to give luck and was a source of pride. She chuckled to herself, turning the small bronze object between her fingers. How did that serve her… Her marriage was a disaster. She knew it, her husband knew it, her friends and family knew it… Even the neighbors gossiped about them. The Wheelers, the happiest couple of Hawkins! It was her dream once. Having received a very Catholic education, she was expected to thrive as a wife and mother and God knew she tried. She even dared to hope for a short while. Of course, Mike was never husband material. She wasn’t stupid and knew it the first moment she saw him at that Fair. With a sad smile, she opened the drawer of her vanity and took an old picture out. Her chest heaved as she looked at the young heartthrob in the photograph, smoking a cigarette in his leather jacket, his eyes darkened with eyeliner and nails painted black. How beautiful he was then. Tall and slender. It only took one look to dazzle her, shy, naive Jezebel who had seen in this rebellious man the Prince Charming he would never be. Her parents tried to warn her at first when they saw their daughter with this androgynous boy, rumored to favor the most shameful company. They knew what he was and what laid unspoken in the gentle way he moved his soft-looking hands and battled his dark eyelashes. But then, Jezebel got pregnant and there wasn’t much of a debate anymore. Fifteen years later, parents and son-in-law barely exchanged a word and avoided each other during family events. When Jezebel returned to see her parents, she went alone.

Her brow furrowed as she noticed the other picture hidden in the drawer, far in the back. She took it between her thumb and index fingers, her heart beating faster. The colors of the photograph had tarnished a little bit and the corners were torn. It was a small group photo. She and Mike were in their late twenties on this one, smiling at the objective. Baby Nate was only a few weeks old, draped in a baby coverall. In Will’s arms. The presence of Will on the photograph brought a sudden anguish to her heart. He was like a ghost haunting their memories and clouding their future. Her couple’s shadow, creeping into Mike’s every word, every look, every touch, every laugh. A constant reminder of what laid dormant in her husband’s heart. A scar that never faded.

He was the Devil to whom Mike sold his soul and the man held it in the crook of his hands, playing with the cords of Jezebel’s life. She tried to swallow the lump that formed in her throat, pushing the two pictures back into their drawer. Nathaniel’s birth had brought so much hope. He was such a sweet child, kind, polite and caring. She used to stare at him for hours, at his small pink feet and tiny hands, amazed that he was actually real and that she made him. How far did that seem now…

Mike returned to their bedroom, smelling like mint toothpaste.

“You’re still upset,” he said, letting go of a sigh when she didn’t answer, “The kid was so happy to go! I couldn’t say no.”

“Of course, you couldn’t…” she muttered.

“Is this why you’re mad? Because I said yes?!”

“No! I just... You could have asked for my opinion, that’s all.”

Mike looked down, biting his lip, “Will isn’t taking Nate to a porn festival, if that's what you're afraid of. It’s an art exhibition!”

“I know that!”

“Then where is the problem?”

She shook her head, “There is no problem, Mike. Forget I said anything.”

There was a moment of silence. Mike fixed the pillows and put himself to bed. She couldn't help the thoughts from racing inside her head. From the corner of her eye, she saw her husband grab his phone, nestled under the covers.

“What was he... watching?” she asked after a while, swallowing with pain.

Mike looked up with a frown, “What?”

“Nate. When you… disturbed him earlier. What was he watching?”

Mike’s attention returned to his phone.

“I don't know that! I didn’t step into the room to check! It was already sufficiently awkward for the both of us! I’m an invasive dad but I’m not that invasive. At least, I try not to be.”

“You’re sure it wasn’t Will?!”

“Will?!” Mike exclaimed, looking at his wife with huge eyes.

“Don’t be daft, Michael. You must have seen how the boy looks at him!”

“Nate has always had a bit of a crush on Will! But it’s all very innocent.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that!”

Mike grimaced, his thumb freezing on the picture of Will in his towel, “Oh! It’s gross, Jezebel. You really are looking way too much into this. Will has always been a role model for Nate. I mean, he taught him to draw and how to ride a bike. He babysitted Nate a lot as a young kid and Nate learned a lot from him. If Nate likes men then he must be projecting. It’s nothing but puppy love fantasy.”

“What if it doesn’t stay a fantasy?”

His eyes lifted up from the picture to his wife. At first, his expression was incredulous, looking for signs that she was joking. When he realized she was serious, he burst out laughing.

“Are you serious right now? Are you seriously implying something gross could happen between Will and our son?” he asked with a smirk.

She didn’t blink, “Yes, that’s what I’m implying.”

Mike shook his head, “If Will heard you…”

“What if then?” she insisted.

Mike was silent for a little while, observing her. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“Then Nate would have the best lover in the world and a hell of a ride!”

Obviously, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear and she opened her mouth in horror.

“Oh my God! Micheal!”

Mike was still laughing, enjoying her grimace of disgust, “I mean, I should know right?! I remember his worth in bed! And let me tell you that it _was_ something! The man didn’t steal his reputation! He’s a pro after all! Nate would have so much fun! I’d be jealous!”

Jezebel was shaking her head, her hand on her mouth to keep her from being sick. Mike cackled a minute more, his eyes gleaming with evil glee, before sobering up, looking at his wife with a deadly expression.

“Do you hear yourself? Do you even realize how ridiculous you sound?! What do you want me to answer to _that?!_ Implying that Will could _fuck_ our boy… You should be ashamed of yourself. If Will heard you, he’d have his heart broken.”

Jezebel was trembling on her stool, “Mike…”

“Shut up.”

Mike enclosed his focus on the Twitter picture, reading the suggestive comments he could only agree with. He was so angry at his wife, she didn’t even dare say another word again and joined him in the bed, keeping her distance from the cold body beside her.

Someone else had reservations regarding that little rendez-vous and that someone was Jessy McCormick, Nate’s best friend. Nate was so excited, he immediately texted his friend to give him the great news. Like Jezebel, Jessy was sensing the trap, only differently.

“It’s not a date, Nate,” he told him on the phone the next day.

“I know, I know.”

“I’m being serious, here. Don’t go thinking it’s anything romantic because it’s not. He doesn’t see you like that.”

“I know!”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure you’re not picking a cute outfit to impress him right now?!”

Nate was about to answer when he caught the tight jeans he was holding.

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re lying.”

“Are you spying on me now?”

“I just know you.”

Nate flared his nostrils, pushing the jeans back into the drawer.

Jessy continued, “Listen man, I know you’re all lovey-dovey for the guy. You know what I think of that but please, don’t do anything stupid. He really doesn’t fancy you. He sees you like his kid.”

“I know.”

“So behave like a kid and not like a creepy old man lover!”

“He’s not old!” Nate vehemently protested.

“He’s the age of your folks! He’s old!”

“He’s perfect!”

He could hear his friend roll his eyes behind his phone, “Here we go again!”

“Oh shut up!”

“I’m serious, Nate. Don’t screw this up.”

“I won’t!”

Saturday arrived quickly. Nate was overexcited. He had been waiting for this day all week. Will’s car parked a bit passed 11am. He was already on the porch, his heart hammerjacking in his chest watching Will emerge from the car, shaking his head to remove rebellious bronze-colored bangs from his forehead, his green eyes glowing behind them. Nate’s breath caught in his throat and he swallowed a shudder.

“Hey Will!” he said, smiling a huge toothy smile.

Will smiled back, “Hey kiddo!”

At the same moment, the door opened on Mike and Will’s attention was immediately refocused on the adult. Jezebel joined them with a scarf that she forced into Nate’s hands before he even had time to protest.

“You were going to forget it again!” she scolded him.

The boy grimaced, “Mom!” he whined, “I don’t want it! I told you! It’s itchy! And it’s not that cold”

She didn’t listen, too busy checking her son’s coat was zipped, “That’s how you get sick!”

“I won’t get sick!”

Mike rolled his eyes at the pair, “He’s fifteen, Jezebel! Not two!”

Will chuckled watching the family drama from his car, his folded arm resting on the door, “We’re going to Chicago, Jez. Not Alaska! I promise I’ll keep your pup safe and warm!”

Will’s words were innocent. Deep down, Nate knew it. He was only joking with his mother. Parent to parent stuff. Yet, he couldn’t help the small tremor in his heart, almost begging Will to act on his words, in the car, at the exhibit, the restrooms… Nate didn’t care. He was fine with everything! He gulped, his brain heated up with too much adrenaline. He was so lost in his own unspeakable fantasies that he failed to hear Will call his name.

“Nate?” Will tried again, “Hey kiddo?!”

Nate snapped out of his trance, shaking his head to bury back the burning images of the movie he had watched the day prior with Nate as the lucky protagonist and nodded on empty.

“Shall we?” Will said, gesturing for Nate to join him.

The boy jumped off the porch onto the passenger seat.

“Wave at your mother before she thinks you abandoned her and start crying!” he encouraged with a smirk, waving his own hand through the window, looking into the rear mirror.

Mike and Jezebel waved back, smiling rather stiffly. Will drove off the parkway. Still checking into the mirror, he saw them arguing but couldn’t hear what they were fighting about. Beside him, Nate was shaking his head.

“What’s up?” Will asked.

“They’re always fighting!” he complained.

“They’re your parents. They’re worried for you. My mom was the same.”

Nate snorted, putting the scarf into the back seats. He took a deep breath, looked at the man beside him and began to relax. They drove steadily to Chicago playing their favorite game, a music contest! The point was to play a song and the other had to guess which song it was. For the moment, Will was winning but Nate wasn’t so bad either.

It was Will’s turn to guess which he did the second the music started.

“Oh easy! Maiden, _Hallowed be thy name_.”

“Yes!”

“I love this one. I’m not a huge Maiden fan but the instrumental of this song is amazing.”

Nate nodded and began to sing goofily with the singer, making big gestures with his hands in theatrical fashion.

_“I'm waiting in my cold cell, when the bell begins to chime_   
_Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time”_

Will chuckling, singing along too.

_“'Cause at 5 O'clock they take me to the gallows pole,_   
_The sands of time for me are running low, running looooooow”_

The riffs burst into the car and the two men air-guitared on it.

“I love that part!” Nate said, “It’s orgasmic!”

Will laughed, “Yeah. The chords are dope!”

They let the song play in whole, singing and headbanging on it, laughing at each other. Nate always felt at ease with Will. It wasn’t just the physical attraction. It was so much more than that. When he was around Will, he felt normal, accepted. The song ended. The game was on again. Will licked his lip and pressed the button for the next song. Nate frowned, searching for a title.

“The Cure, _Lullaby?”_

Will nodded, “Yep! I used to listen to this song all the time when I was your age. I just love the way Rob sings on it.”

They let the song play and it was Nate’s turn again.

“My turn!” the boy said happily, putting on the next song. He sounded excited. It was a song he had listened to all week and couldn’t wait to share it with Will.

It’s started rather soft before exploding in the car. Will smirked.

“Brutal!”

“I love that band. I’ve just discovered them. They’re awesome!”

“I like it, yeah.”

“You don’t know?” Nate challenged.

Will shook his head, “Maybe I know the name of the band if you tell me but no, I don’t know that song and I don’t recognize the voice or style.”

“You give up?” Nate asked, poking his tongue out.

Will nodded, “I give up!”

“Motionless in white. _Headache_.”

“It’s good. I like it. Motionless in white, you say?! You have others of them?!”

“Sure!”

Nate beamed. His father found the music horrible. He never liked any of Nate’s favorite songs, criticizing his son’s tastes all the time like the old grinch he was. It wasn’t any fun. He proceeded to play two other songs from the band, his favorites, happy that Will enjoyed them too.

“My turn!” Will said at the end of the third song, “It’s a cover by the singer of the White Stripes. You know them?”

“Yeah!”

“It’s a live cover of an old country song called _Jolene_. Rings any bell?” Nate shook his head. Will continued, “It’s honestly my favorite cover ever. The guy sings with his guts,” he pushed play, “The audio doesn’t do justice to the live video but it’s still awesome.”

The song began, soft acoustic guitar at first. Nate waited for the explosion of riff but it never came. Instead, a voice rose between the chords, deep and broken and Nate’s blood froze in his veins. Will was right. The guy was singing with his guts. The lyrics immediately reached the boy deep for way too many reasons.

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene_   
_I'm begging of you please don't take my man_   
_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene_   
_Please don't take him just because you can_

_Your beauty is beyond compare_   
_With flaming locks of auburn hair_   
_With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green_   
_Your smile is like a breath of spring_   
_Your voice is soft like summer rain_   
_And I cannot compete with you_   
_Jolene_

They didn’t exactly match Nate’s situation but they still called to him in a special way, the second verse particularly and its coincidental description of Will’s beauty.

“What I like with this version,” Will suddenly commented, breaking Nate’s introspection, “It’s that he hasn’t switched gender. Usually when a girl sings about a guy, the gender is swapped in case of a male cover but not here. He sings about a man. It’s a first.”

Nate nodded blankly.

_You could have your choice of men_   
_But I could never love again_   
_He's the only one for me_   
_Jolene_

_I had to have this talk with you_   
_My happiness depends on you_   
_And whatever you decide to do_   
_Jolene_

It was the most gut wrenching interpretation of a song Nate had ever heard. It broke something deep in his soul, moved it. The guy was pouring everything he had in his singing and Nate could feel his pain, his longing as if it were his own. Jolene could be so many things for him.

“Pretty impressive, eh?” Will said, looking at the kid’s reaction.

“Yes,” Nate nodded softly.

The emotions in the car had shifted. From joyful and light, they were now heavy.

“You know Nate,” Will said again, his tone cautious and hesitant, “Your dad can be a little… boorish sometimes and your mom’s a bit old fashioned but your parents love you no matter what.”

Nate frowned, “I know.”

Why was Will asking him that? Nate knew he wasn’t going to propose or anything so why say something like that? Seeing the boy’s confusion, he explained himself further.

“What I mean is, if you ever feel like you’re hiding something from them out of fear then don’t. Don’t shut yourself from them.”

Nate’s frown deepened as well as his confusion, “Did my mom pester you about something?”

“Not directly.”

“My dad then?”

“He didn’t pester me but we talked.” Nate was about to answer but Will continued, “I’m not trying to make you say something, kid. I’m not. I’m just saying that you can trust your folks. For anything. They love you even if they bicker all the time.”

Nate was silent for a little while. He knew what this was about. What Will was very awkwardly getting at. His sexual orientation. Jezebel was terrified her son might be gay because he didn’t seem interested in girls. They argued a lot about it. They thought Nate couldn't hear but he did. And she was right. He wasn't interested in girls. Was he interested in boys? He didn’t know. He never got to ask himself that question. All his life, he had only ever been interested in one person, Will. There had never been anyone else.

“Will, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you and my dad break up? I know you two were involved at some point. I saw the pictures when you were younger. He thinks he hid them well but he hasn’t. They’re in his special box in the office. Is it because my mom got pregnant with me? The pressure and all? I don’t think my parents have ever loved each other. They got married out of convenience. They’re not happy. Dad is only happy when he sees you. He’s gay isn’t it? If he is, why didn’t he stay with you?”

Nate hadn’t meant to talk this much. He really hadn’t but the words flew out of his mouth without he could prevent them. Beside him, Will sighed.

“I can’t answer those questions, Nate. You should ask your dad. I can’t talk for him. This isn’t my place. And honestly, I don’t think you should venture in your father’s romantic past.”

“Why not? Is it bad?”

“No, it’s not bad. It’s just that your dad is a father but also a person and well, sometimes people have their own reasons and their children shouldn’t get involved in any of that. Focus on your own life, on trying to find what makes you happy. Let your dad be a dad to you. Nothing else in his life should be of your concern.”

Nate wanted to answer that Will was the one element in his life that made him happy. The one constant. But he knew this wouldn’t have been an acceptable answer.

“Did my dad leave you?” he insisted.

“Nate!”

“I just want to know. I won’t ask any other question. Promise.”

Will cocked his head to the side and his gorgeous green eyes met his. He seemed to hesitate a moment before capitulating with a sigh.

“Your father and I didn’t have the same path ahead of us. We had to choose which to take. In the end, each of us took our own and we parted ways. That’s how life works.”

Nate nodded silently. At the same moment, Will’s phone buzzed.

“It’s Ravi. Can you pick up and tell him we’ll join him in ten minutes?”

Nate did as told and grabbed the phone, putting an end to their conversation.

They had lunch with Ravi in a nice Paki restaurant downtown. The place wasn’t anything fancy but the food was delicious. Only locals went there. Nate had always wanted to know how it worked for Will and Ravi, given their celebrity status and profession. Ravi wasn’t as nearly as popular as Will - and didn’t want to for obvious reasons - but people had to know he dated Will and they had to know who Will was! He wanted to ask but refrained, given the location. He didn’t want to make Ravi uncomfortable and raise topics that were probably never discussed in places like this. They talked about school instead and his projects. Ravi always asked a lot of questions about every aspect of his life and always seemed genuinely interested in Nate’s answers.

Ravi didn’t join them at the exhibit. He wasn’t very fond of art. Nate really liked Ravi - he was his third favorite person (the first two being Will and his aunt Nancy) - but he wanted to spend this special time with Will. It was so rare for him to have Will to himself for more than five minutes!

The rooms were crowded with people, the walls covered in all the most famous paintings of the Spanish artist. His style was so polished and detailed. Nate loved his work. His favorite painter by far and greatest source of inspiration. He stopped in front of one that he particularly liked.

“_The metamorphosis of Narcissus_,” he whispered.

Will joined him, observing the painting too.

“I love the colors he used on this one,” he said, “He painted it during one of his paranoia crisis. He called that method of painting the _paranoiac-critical method!”_

Nate turned to look at him, listening to his art lessons with rapt attention before returning his focus on the painting, “He must have been such a fascinating man!” he noted.

“Not quite well in the head too!” Will joked.

“He was a genius! Geniuses are always kind of insane!”

“That’s true!”

They walked through the rooms, looking at the paintings, making comments and exchanging remarks. Nate felt perfectly content. At home, in a world made of strange silhouettes and shades of colors. A world that talked to him more than all the empty words he exchanged with his classmates on a daily basis. Those deconstructed shapes and disturbing metaphors had meaning to him. They used a language he could read. A language Will taught him when he was still a boy, gifting him his very first crayons, showing him how to pour bits of his soul on a piece of paper.

“He truly had an obsession for watches!” Nate noted, looking at all the painting depicting melting watches.

“An obsession with the passing of time and how the human’s brain functioned around memories,” Will commented.

They navigated from room to room in agreeable companionship until one caught Nate’s attention, forcing him to make a halt. It was the painting of a humanoid figure whose crooked body was entirely made of drawers. Its long hair hiding its face, long arm reached toward an open door as if in pain.

“Ah! I knew you’d like this one!” Will said, noticing the kid’s sudden fascination, “_The anthropomorphic cabinet_. It’s quite your style!”

“I love it! I’d never seen it before!”

“Dali painting more than 200 paintings! I’m not even sure they’re all displayed here!”

“This one is so beautiful!”

Nate remained enthralled in front of the painting for long minutes, unable to look away. There were so many details, so many interpretations possible. Will didn’t say anything. He stayed by the kid’s side in silence, sharing this moment with him.

“Excuse me?”

They turned to see a young man had stopped beside Will, looking shy and a bit flushed.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, sir.”

Will’s face broke into a soft smile, “Hi,” he said, “What can I do for you?”

The young man remained motionless for a while, looking at Will agape, shocked that Will was actually talking to him. He probably expected to be sent packing.

“Hi!” he looked completely stunned, blinking at Will for long seconds, “Wow… You’re even more beautiful in real life!”

Will chuckled, “Thanks.”

Nate bit his lip to hide his smirk. He could understand what the boy was feeling. Even to him, Will was vision to behold anytime he saw him and Will was literally part of his family! So to a complete stranger Will might have looked particularly dazzling.

The fan blinked again, seeming to regain his senses, “I’m sorry to bother you. I’m a huge fan of your work.”

Will’s gentle smile widened, “Do you want an autograph?” he proposed to help the poor boy who seemed to have lost his tongue.

The boy’s eyes immediately widened in awe, “Yes, please!”

Will took a pen out of his pocket. He always carried one, just in case. Job habit.

“Do you have something to write on?”

“Oh! Uh! Yes, here!” He handed Will a napkin from his bag, “Is this ok? It’s clean!”

Will nodded, “What’s your name?”

“It’s Josh.”

Will signed the napkin and handed it back to the young man who looked like Will had just offered him the most precious of jewels.

“Thank you very much, sir. I love your educational videos. They helped me a lot accept my sexuality and come out to my parents.”

Will hadn’t turned away from the young fan. He was listening to him, for real.

“I’m glad!” he said with a genuine smile.

Josh nodded, “Thank you for your time. Have a great day!”

“You too, Josh. Take care!”

The young man blushed and gave Will a last short nod. He turned to Nate, as if seeing him for the first time. He blinked and sent the teenager a puzzled look, half curious, half envious. Nate smirked a little, feeling suddenly quite important. Yes, he knew Will. He was his sister’s godfather and his father’s ex lover! He knew Will since he was born! He was lucky like that! The young fan seemed to agree with his silent condescending superiority. He gave the pair a last look and went his way.

“Sorry,” Will apologized sheepishly.

Nate shook his head, “It’s ok! He was nice!”

They continued their tour around the gallery.

“How come I never had an autograph?!” Nate playfully asked.

Will cocked his head to the side, “Have you ever asked for one?”

“Do I need too?”

“Well, that’s usually how it works.”

They stopped for a snack at the end of the afternoon at the event cafeteria. Will ordered some coffee and Nate a hot chocolate and a donut. They didn’t really talk, mostly enjoyed their quiet break. From time to time, Nate dared one look at the man sitting crossed legged across him, admiring him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was, spending all his day with his secret beloved. He knew it wasn’t a date but it did feel a bit like it to him.

As they sipped on their hot beverages, two men accosted them out of nowhere.

“You’re Will Byers, aren’t you? The porn guy?”

Will frowned, his expression turning cautious, “I am.”

The guy smirked. There was something off about him. He looked the opposite of the gentle fan of earlier. His eyes flickered between Will and Nate and his smirk widened. Nate’s heartbeat increased. He had a bad feeling about this. Those guys were here for trouble. He tightened his arms around himself as protection. Beside him, Will wasn’t looking away, challenging him.

“I didn’t know porn actors enjoyed art.”

“There seems to be a lot of things you don’t know,” Will whispered, his voice as cold as ice.

“I’m not particularly into guys myself but you’re a fine one. I wouldn’t be against a quickie.”

The man licked his lips like a predator. It was gross. Beside him, his friend cackled. Will blinked, unimpressed. He was clearly used to those awkward situations. Nate, however, wasn’t and sweat rapidly gathered in the crook of his palms.

“Well, you’ve got your friend,” Will said with a detached expression, “I’m sure he can help you out.”

“I want to _fuck_ you,” the man snarled.

Nate swallowed, making himself smaller on the chair. He was feeling terribly uncomfortable for Will and a bit scared too. Will however was only licking his bottom lip, keeping his expression perfectly neutral. He was used to this.

“Please, sir, there are children here. Watch your language.”

“How much do you take?”

“I’m not a prostitute. I don’t have sex with strangers on demand.”

“Come on! Don’t be like that! I’ll make it worth your while!”

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. You’re intruding in my private life and you’re scaring the kid.”

At the mention of Nate, the man turned his full attention on him. The dirty look he had earlier was back, “The kid, eh? I knew this whole thing about not fucking teens was just for show!”

Will’s impassive expression immediately switched to murderous.

“I beg your pardon?”

“He’s cute. I’ll give you that.”

Nate looked away, feeling a bit violated by those two dirty eyes.

“Leave. Now,” Will seethed between clenched teeth.

Nate had never seen him so angry. He looked about to pounce on the guy.

“Can he take you? You’re pretty big after all.”

Nate blushed immediately hearing those words. Beside him, Will’s demeanor shifted to that of a wolf. He really thought Will was going to punch the guy. But he didn’t. He gave him his most disgusted expression, looking at him as if he were a bug.

“If you want to spread your lewd fantasies on me, go ahead. But leave the boy out of this. I will not tolerate it.”

“You’re defending your lover. It’s cute!” the other man sneered.

Nate’s heart looped in his chest. _Will’s lover._ If only… Will wasn’t partaking in his desires though.

“He’s my kid! Not my lover! Keep your vile accusations to yourself!” he spat.

Nate’s heart sank in the bottom of his stomach, taking the full hit of the public rejection. Around them, a crowd had begun to form. People were putting two and two together and had started to recognize Will. Some had even put their phones out.

“Please don’t record that,” Will asked the couple of persons who were filming.

He sighed, grabbed his wallet, threw a couple of bills on the table and rose on his feet.

“Come on, Nate. Let’s go.”

Nate swallowed, joining Will who led him away into the hall. His heart was hammering in his chest. It was too much all at once. They left the exhibit in hurried steps, passing through whispering people. Most of them were confused as to why Will was being chased with a teenager. He was using his arms and hands to protect Nate and cover him from their eyes. It was the first time in a long while Nate has been this close to Will’s body and it wasn’t exactly helping him focus. He could feel Will’s strong arms around him, making his heart beat even faster and heat pool into his groin. He just hoped no one would notice. He clearly wasn’t ready to pop a boner for the whole world to see!

When they reached the car, Will almost threw Nate on his seat. Some people had followed them and were still taking pictures. Will started the engine and drove off. He remained entirely silent for long minutes, trying to regain his calm. Nate waited patiently. He was a little shaken himself.

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” Will eventually said after a while, “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s ok, Will. I’m fine.”

“No it’s not. What those guys implied wasn’t correct at all. I’m really sorry,” he reached behind him to grab a plastic bag, “Here. It’s for you.”

Nate took the gift and checked the contents of the bag. It was a replicate of the painting he had loved so much. The anthropomorphic cabinet.

“Oh wow! Thanks Will! It’s super nice!”

“Since you liked it so much!"

“Thanks! I love it!”

Will winked at him. They were silent again. Will was still tense, his hands gripping the wheel angrily. Nate was feeling bad for him.

“Does it happen often?” Nate asked softly, “Guys who pester you like that.”

“Unfortunately, yes. That’s the con of being famous. People think you belong to them. They have no boundaries. And since I’m a sex worker, it’s even worse. I’m the lowest of the lowest to them.”

“You’re not!” Nate exclaimed.

Will turned to look at him with a gentle smile that warmed his heart, “You’re sweet.”

His heart leaped in his chest happily. Will had called him sweet! A moment later though, his expression hardened again.

“That they go after me, I don’t really mind. I’m used to it. It’s part of the job. I’ve accepted it. But they went after you and I can’t tolerate that. What those two pigs implied made me sick to my stomach. I’m really sorry.”

Nate swallowed, taking another small pang of indirect rejection. He remained silent for a moment, waiting for Will to calm down. The man was tightening his jaw, the bones and muscles playing under his skin.

“What about Ravi? I mean, he’s Muslim right? His community mustn't be so thrilled about his career choice. I mean, my mom’s religious too and she’s Puritan crazy!”

“Most of them don’t even know he does porn. Ravi’s parents are very open minded and adorable though. They believe in God but they're not dogmatic. They’ve accepted that their son loves men as part of God’s decision for him and they’ve accepted me but they don’t know about the true nature of his job. Only his sister Latisha knows. Beside, Ravi isn’t very public so only the very small niche of the gay porn community recognizes him. His parents don’t even have access to the Internet or know how to use a computer! His dad is a manual worker and his mom bakes cakes all day!"

“He’s not afraid they'll find out?"

"It's a risk he's willing to take. Like all of us."

Nate considered Will for long seconds, thinking everything they had talked about over.

“The reason my dad left you,” he began quietly, “it was your job, wasn’t it? I heard my parents talk about it a few times. They always think I never hear anything but I do.” Will’s expression turned sullen. It broke Nate’s heart. “I’m sorry Will. I didn’t mean to intrude or anything! I’ll stop asking about my dad. I promise. I’m just kind of curious. I want to understand.”

Will licked his lips, eyes focused on the darkening road ahead.

“It was difficult for your father,” he said after a while, “There wasn’t social media at the time but celebrity was already bad. You have no idea what it was like for your dad, dating a rising porn star like me. People stopping us in the streets all the time, making lewd comments about our sex life… Listing in front of Mike all the things they wanted to do to me… Not to mention all the homophobia… The insults… The threats… It was hard for him. He needed the life your mother offered. I couldn’t give him that. I accepted his choice and backed away.”

“Did he ever ask you to quit your job?”

“Yes.”

“You refused?”

“I love my job. I think that when you’re in a relationship with someone, the person you commit yourself with must accept you for who you are and everything you stand for. If not, then they're not the right person for you. Your father couldn’t accept my job and I respect that. But I didn’t want to stop doing something I loved and which was so important to me. Again, the past is the past and I’m glad your father found your mom, no matter what you say! Your mom has always supported your dad and she’s always been loyal to him. And he can be a real pain in the ass, trust me! Besides, they had you and your sisters! You wouldn't be here if they hadn't met."

“But if I hadn’t been born, I wouldn't know that I could exist!” Nate noted.

Will chuckled, “Ok it's a little early for the philosophical debate!”

Nate smirked, “I’m serious.”

“So am I. If we’re gonna have this type of debate, I’ll need a glass of wine first.”

“And what do I get?”

“A diet coke. Because you’re underage and there’s no processed sugar in my fridge.”

Quiet returned for a bit. Nate was watching the road pass in front of him. It was almost completely dark outside. Will was focused on his driving.

“Do you think I’d make a good porn actor?” he suddenly asked out of the blue.

“No.”

The answer and tone were so categorical, they forced Nate’s head to spin on his neck and look at Will with a frown.

“Why not?” He was almost hurt and disappointed, “I thought you loved your job!”

“I love my job but it’s not a common job and it shouldn’t be considered like one. Porn and sex work in general are very special, Nate. Not everyone can do that. You need a very specific mindset to be able to do what I do. You need to be able to detach yourself from your own body and consider it mechanically. Not everyone can achieve that. That requires a very special way to see yourself and proper training which you don't have."

“You could train me!”

He hadn’t meant to flirt. Not really. He didn’t even know how. But it was flirting. Plain and simple. Out in the open of a car. Will tossed his head towards Nate immediately. He had the same scolding expression his father had when caching him doing something bad.

“Very inappropriate, Nathaniel,” he said in a firm reprimanding voice, “Very inappropriate.”

Nate looked down, feeling foolish, “Sorry, Will. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Will was shaking his head, eyes back on the road. He was shocked and wrinkled his lips in a pout of disgust, “Jesus Christ, you’re like my kid! Don’t joke about stuff like that!”

“Sorry.”

“Seriously, after the episode with those two idiots and what they implied… Not cool, kiddo! Not cool.”

Will sounded really shaken. Nate had never seen him like that.

“Sorry.”

Will continued, “It’s fine. I know you were trying to joke. But it was inappropriate. You wouldn’t say stuff like that to your dad, would you?”

Nate took a deep breath. The answer to that question was very simple. _You’re not my dad_. But Will was so upset, Nate had to back off. If he told Will he didn’t see him like a father figure and got himself off daily watching his videos and imagining himself in the partner's position, it would end the man and Nate didn’t want that. Will had just openly rejected his advances. The pain was enough as it was. He didn’t need to make it worse.

He shook his head as a response. Will gave him a short nod.

“Please don’t say stuff like that again. It made me very uncomfortable. It’s bad enough that a grown man can’t be seen with a teenager without being the victim of vile accusations. So when that grown man happens to be gay and a porn star, it makes it all the worse.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Will. I shouldn’t have said that like that. It was a bad joke...”

“It’s ok. I’m not mad. But please, don’t do it again. Especially not in front of your mother! She’d crucify me!”

“I wouldn’t and I won’t! I promise. Sorry.”

No amount of apology could compare to the level of awkward the boy was feeling at that moment. Shame was sipping through his bones like poison, coating him in it. He had ruined everything.

“Speaking of your mom,” Will said, changing the subject, “text her to tell her we’re on our way back before she sends a patrol! We’ll be in Hawkins in one hour and a half.”

Nate nodded and did as told.

The rest of the drive was quieter. Will was still upset and Nate didn’t want to push him. They exchanged about the exhibit and their favorite paintings exposed. Will asked Nate about his art project. Nate promised to send him a picture of it when ready. They didn’t talk about Mike or Will’s job again. And Will didn’t make any other allusion at Nate’s words. They made a small halt for a dinner snack that they ate on the road. It would be late when Nate came home and the kid was hungry. They reached Nate’s house around 9pm. Jezebel was already waiting for them on the porch. She looked like a frozen tree planted in its pot. For how long had she been there, Nate didn’t know but he would have wagered all evening. Mike joined her, heading toward the vehicle and Will’s opened window.

Nate emerged from his side, waving at Will, his gift preciously secured in his hand.

“Thanks for everything, Will! I had a great time!”

“My pleasure, kiddo!”

The boy joined his mother inside the house, leaving the two men alone. Mike bent over to be at Will’ level, using the open window as support.

“You want to come in a moment for a coffee?” he proposed.

Will shook his head, “No I’m good, thanks! It’s getting late and I still need to drive back to Chicago.”

Mike nodded, “Ok then. Nate wasn’t too much of a pain?”

“Your son is not a pain, Mickey. He’s a sweet kid. I’m glad he had fun.”

They exchanged a long look, trying to keep this moment alive for as long as possible. Will was the first to break the contact.

“By the way, there was a small incident at the exhibit. Crazy pervs harassed me and made gross allusions. They didn’t touch your son or anything but there’s a small chance a video pop up on YouTube… If it’s the case, I’ll see with my lawyers that they remove it. I just wanted you to know first.”

Mike nodded slowly, “A porn actor hanging out with a teenage boy? Of course people are gonna go crazy.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s ok. I know it wasn’t your fault. Besides, Nate doesn’t look particularly traumatized. I won’t say anything to Jez though. I don’t want her to freak out.”

“No, no.”

Mike nodded, looking longingly at the man in front of him, “Drive safely, Will.”

Will started the engine, “Yeah.”

He was about to reverse the car when Mike turned to him again.

“By the way, can you remind me the dates for Islavadora?”

“You’re really coming?!”

“I need a vacation.”

“What about your wife?”

“She needs a vacation too. Not necessarily with me but I don’t have a choice.”

Will rolled his eyes, “Mike! It’s probably the last week of June or first week of July. I’ll have to set that up with Ravi.”

“Awesome. Just, can you please not throw any funky party when we’re here?”

Will gave him a long look, “Oh, bummer!” he said without emotion, “I was just about to plan a huge orgy party for your puritan wife and seven year old daughter. What a let down!”

Mike smirked. Will shook his head slowly at him before smirking back.

“Idiot!”

Mike chuckled. He wanted to kiss him so bad.

“Text me when you’re home ok? That I know you arrived safely.”

Will nodded, “Sure thing.”

“Thanks again for Nate!”

Will winked and Mike’s insides momentarily shrunk. He watched the car disappear down the alley into the night with a heavy heart.

Back into his room, Nate watched Will leave with equal sentiments. He waited until the car was completely gone from his sight before jumping on his bed, a myriad of emotions swirling around his heart. He laid on his back and stared at his ceiling. What a day! What a beautiful day! Ok, he had screwed up a little with the flirting thing but still! He had spent the full day with Will! Will had even bought him a gift! He smiled to himself and grabbed the bag to look at the replica fondly. Just then, his eyes noticed the small signature at the bottom of the painting.

_“To Nate, my favorite boy._   
_Lots of love,_   
_Will”_

Nate’s heart leaped in his chest as he realized that Will had left him an autograph. His smile widened, feeling happier than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to let me know what you thought!  
Cheers!


	3. In the Lion's den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Will paraded around the house, popping cherry tomatoes in his mouth as he went. Thirty five years ago, Mike had befriended a small boy alone on a swing. Thirty five years later, that same little boy had morphed into a modern Gatsby. No one in his acquaintances was as accomplished as Will Byers. He was the embodiment of the American ideal of the self made man. A pornstar with the lifestyle of an English dandy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the long wait! I hope you'll like it!
> 
> WARNING: Lost of sex allusions, dialogues, situations... Will IS a porn actor. And I'm trying to make that story as realistic as possible.

It was one of those nights where Mike couldn’t fall asleep. It was already past two in the morning and after tossing and turning in his bed impatiently, caught between sleep and awakeness, he tiptoed out of the room, careful not to disturb Jezebel who was snoring softly on her side.

He went down the stairs in darkness and silence to the kitchen to make some herbal tea, only switching the light above the stove to cast a dim yellow hue to the quiet room. He could hear the family hamster run in his wheel from the dining room. It sounded like a faint ongoing roar, coupled with the noise of the water boiling in the kettle. After fixing himself a cup of hot tea, he dragged his feet toward the couch to channel surf without much enthusiasm, wrapping himself into a duvet. It was June but the air was chilly.

After a few minutes of looking at advertisements for protein shakes, his head supported in his hand, he switched to a famous talk show and there he was, as luminescent as ever, impeccable in his beige suit and neatly combed bronze-colored hair. Mike’s sleepiness evaporated in a blink and he straightened up on the couch, a long breath leaving his dry lips. Will was laughing, his legs crossed with sophisticated nonchalance. It wasn’t unusual for Will to attend TV shows but it was always odd for Mike to see him like this, evidently famous and so at ease with his fame, shining under the spotlight. They were talking about Will’s new movie and Mike’s body fell forward as if called by the screen.

“So, Will,” the host said, “You’re here with us tonight because you have some exciting news. Your new film, _The man of average_, has been nominated for an award at the Berlin Film Festival.”

Will nodded, “Yes.”

Mike blinked and frowned. He hadn’t heard. Will hadn’t said anything. Will never said anything.

“It’s the first time a porn movie has been selected in a regular film festival at all. How do you feel about that?”

Back to the screen, Will smiled, showing white teeth, “I’m excited of course,” he said in a soft voice, “But to be fair, many erotic movies are nominated every year in film festivals. And some of them can be very graphic. They just don’t have the word porn labelled on them.”

“Do you think people have a bias against pornography?”

“Most certainly. They’re equally entranced and repulsed by it. It’s part of the social paradox we live in.”

“A social paradox you know all too well…” the host noted. Will smiled politely but didn’t answer with words, “The movie was praised for its aestheticism and work on the characters.” Will nodded again, “Did you want to tell a story this time?”

Will uncrossed his leg, “Every movie that I make tells a story, even if there is no dialogue. It tells a story in its own way. But yes, I did try to do something a bit different than what I usually do.”

“The main character, Adam, is played by Frederico Garcia Bernal.”

“Yes.”

“Who isn’t a porn actor.”

“No.”

“Was it a deliberate choice? To take a film actor to play the part of Adam? Why not choose a porn actor right away?”

Mike’s frown deepened. His lips curled into a grimace of confusion. Why hadn’t Will said anything about this project? Were they so estranged now? Was Mike too ordinary, too boring for Will to confide about his film work? This sounded like a big step.

“I wanted to tell a story that was believable to viewers,” Will explained, “I needed an actor with Frederico’s innocence. I wanted an actor who was able to provide a vast array of emotions because that’s what the movie is about, emotions. Had I taken a porn actor, the portrayal of Adam would have been vastly different and that’s not what I wanted.”

“Are you saying that porn actors can’t play emotions?” There was a subtle hint of amusement in the host’s voice and ghost of a smile.

“Porn actors are not film actors. I never pretended otherwise. We don’t have the same training. We don’t work the same way.”

The host took a small pause to look at the cards he had in hand, reading his notes to continue the interview, “The movie tells the story of Adam, a bartender played by Frederico Bernal who falls in love with Eric, a rising porn star.”

“Yes.”

Mike’s scowl deepened. That movie plot didn’t sound any good. It was too familiar for its own good.

“Eric, however, is played by Mark Riesling who is a porn actor you already worked with many times.”

Will nodded, “Yes, Mark is an old friend and a co-worker. We shot many films together even before I started directing and was still acting. So I know him very well.”

On the screen, the image switched to pictures of Will with a blond man. They were holding each other by the shoulder, smiling, sharing quiet companionship. Mike groaned. He was feeling that old, familiar pang of jealousy slowly growing in his gut. You bet he knew that guy well! They had fucked for the whole world to see! This Mark had seen everything that made Will! His hands began to shake. He was feeling irrationally angry again.

The image returned to the set with Will and the host who continued sharing his thoughts, “The movie is actually very intimate and I mean it in the true sense of the word,” he noted, “It’s also quite the rollercoaster of emotions.” Will nodded quietly, “More than a movie, I felt like I was intruding in the lives of two very real people when seeing it for the first time. Is this movie a bit of an autobiography?”

Will frowned a bit and shook his head, “In a way but not entirely. I did pour some elements of myself in the movie and Mark’s character. I mean, every creator shares some of themselves in their creation and I did use my personal experience as a porn actor to write some scenes and the portrayal of Eric and his relations with the rest of the world.”

“In the movie, the relationship between Eric and Adam is very complicated. Adam gives Eric a lot of trouble for doing porn. And it’s not a happy ever after love story. Even in the dialogues, you make it sound like it’s very difficult to have a stable romantic life for porn actors.”

Will had a small, enigmatic smile, “Dating is always difficult when you do porn.”

“Which is odd,” the host said, “One would think it would actually be easier for you guys to score!”

Will shook his head, “On the contrary. It can be easy to have sex with groupies but that’s never something I was interested in. I know many porn actors who enjoy this part of the job like rock stars do. I don’t.”

“Would you say that you are hopelessly romantic?”

Will laughed, “Yes. With a strong emphasis on the hopeless!”

“That bad?!”

"Being a sex worker is complicated. People fantasize about you but they don’t want to be with you. They see you as a product of consumption, not as a person. Past the solo session, they return to being disgusted by what we do. Doing porn is dirty and people don’t want to commit to dirty.”

Mike looked away. He remembered heated conversations, words he wished he could have taken back… Will wasn’t wrong...

“Many porn stars are married though,” the host pointed out.

“True. But it doesn’t make it easier.”

“So you say that porn is very isolating? We do have a very sordid image of the industry. Especially with the way it treats women.”

Will bit his lip, “There are many reasons as to why people accept to do what they do in porn. I've been in this industry for twenty years by choice. I started this career by choice. I was never forced into it. I’m not a drug addict who signed a contract in a back alley. I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. But that doesn’t mean I’m stupid either. Or blind. I know this can be a very ugly industry. I know what happens on many, many sets. I’m not naive. I’m not naive because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the abuse, the drugs, the social pressure. The blatant homophobia and misogyny. I did a couple of movies for mainstream companies and what happened between two shots shook me to my core. Many people arrive on porn sets with ideals of fame and fortune. Pretty boys. Pretty girls. They’re young and have no idea what they’re doing here. They want to do porn because they want to do something daring to piss off their parents. Because pretty girls are still obsessed with the idea of being sexy and the boys of being men. The fall is brutal and most of them never recover. The porn industry can be a very bad place and if you’re not ready for it, if you don’t have guts strong enough to fight for yourself, you’re gonna get swallowed up and destroyed.”

There was a small pause and silence lingered on the set for a while longer. Mike blinked, feeling awake again. Will’s fiery outburst had shaken his sleep deprived brain.

“The bad side of this industry is one of the movie’s themes, some of the scenes being very uncomfortable. Was it important for you to incorporate them?”

“I wanted to give a realistic portrayal of the porn industry. I didn’t want it to be too dark or too glamorized. I wanted to show it as I live it, a multifaceted business.”

“In the movie, Eric gets recognized in a restaurant and kicked out. Is this something that already happened to you?”

“Oh yes! Unfortunately. Too many times to count.”

“Really? People kick you out of restaurants when they recognize you?”

“Not always, no. But that can happen, yeah. Just as the harassment Eric gets by fans in private situations happened too. It’s not fun but it’s part of the job.”

“That’s harsh!”

Will shrugged, “You get used to it after a few years!”

“Is this why you only date other porn actors?”

“It helps, for sure!”

“Eric appears rather quiet in the movie. Almost shy. Especially as a teenager. What kind of teenager were you? Would you say that you were the popular heartbreaker?”

Will exploded in laughter. Mike did too. He couldn’t help it. Anyone who had known Will at 15 would have… Will, a popular heartbreaker… The irony!

“No! Not really, no!” Will exclaimed, “I was like Eric. Very shy. Kind of a loner, uncomfortable in my skin. I was even sex phobic for the longest of time!”

“You? Sex phobic?!”

“Oh yeah! I hated physical intimacy. I hated being touched. There were no holding hands or kissing on the cheek! And I was completely freaked out by the idea of sex! I remember when I read about what boys did together in the bedroom, I was so disgusted, I swear to God, I wanted to stop being gay right away! Sex with another boy sounded like a horror movie to me! It took me ages to kiss my boyfriend with the tongue! And even that, man, was that complicated!”

The audience had joined in the laughter. Mike was still smiling fondly. Yes, he did remember Will’s complete aversion to romantic interactions. It took them fifty four shots to French kiss without Will going into a panic. But no matter how funny that might have sounded, it wasn’t. Not really. Mike knew why Will had had so much trouble with being touched and his body. And his gentle smile was replaced by a veil of sadness.

On set, the host was having a hard time believing Will, “Really?!”

Will nodded, smiling for a bit longer, until his expression softened as he spoke again, “Actually, when I was a child, I went through something very traumatic. Something very close to rape and it left me broken inside for many years. After that, it was very difficult for me to let anyone close physically, even people I loved and trusted.”

Mike felt his insides twist. It was the first time Will talked about what happened. Sure, he didn’t say what it was, didn’t mention anything supernatural. With the passing of time, they had tried to erase this part of their life. But Will had mentioned it and the ambiance on set shifted. From mirth, it turned to an uncomfortable silence.

“And you ended up doing porn,” the host noted softly.

“It may sound odd but porn actually helped me a lot come to terms with that trauma. It was very therapeutic. It helped me reconcile with myself, my body. My pleasure and my desires. I said it before but porn revealed me to myself.”

“There is one scene in the movie Eric goes through that is something very similar to what you’re describing. I suppose it was intentional?”

Will smiled again, “As I said, I poured some elements of myself in Eric’s character.”

The host blinked and his eyes met Will’s, his expression suddenly very serious, “If you’re Eric, then who’s Adam?”

The question took Mike off guard. Will’s smile widened ever so lightly and for the longest of time, he remained silent. Mike waited. His chest heaved. Who was Adam? Who was the bartender falling in love with the porn star? The answer was so obvious, it hurt. And yet, was it that obvious? Or was Mike projecting too much? Hoping too much?

Eventually, Will’s lips parted as he gave an answer too vague, “Does he have to be anyone?”

The host blinked, understanding that Will wouldn’t grant them any satisfaction. Oddly enough, he didn’t push, “Well, thank you Will. Thank you for your time. I wish you the best for this beautiful movie.”

Will smiled warmly, extending his arm to shake the host’s hand, “Thank you.”

They exchanged last courtesies under the public’s applause and Will left the stage. Mike sniffled, his duvet half slipping off his shoulder and tea now too cold. His heart was beating in the back of his throat and he felt as if bubbles were swelling and popping in his belly. He had seen Will, heard his voice. And now, he was missing him again which was a silly thought. Will wasn’t here with him. He had just seen him through the cold screen of his television set, alone in the middle of the night on his couch. Will’s new movie was nominated for an award. A bartender in love with a pornstar. Would Will be foolish enough to write a whole movie as a metaphor for their own failed love? Was Will still thinking about them?

_If he was Eric, then who was Adam?_

Did he really want to know?

With his heart still beating too fast and random advertisements playing in the background on the TV, he grabbed his phone from beside him, desperate to calm his nerves. He began to scroll Twitter before opening his photo app instead. They were vacation pictures he had taken the summer before. Will and Ravi had spent a couple of days with them at their lake house. It was nothing like the huge villa Will invited them to this year but they still had a nice time. Will was almost in every picture. One of them caught his sleep-deprived attention particularly. It was a photo of him and Jezebel by the lake, Will laughing at whatever Jez was telling him. Mike smiled to himself. No matter what she said about Will, they were friends and got along pretty fine when alone together. As weird as it sounded, it kind of warmed his heart to know that his wife and the man of his life enjoyed each other’s company. It was important somehow. On the right side of the picture, Nate was looking at the pair. It could have been trivial but there was something in the boy’s eyes - an intensity - that captured Mike and he frowned at the photograph. Why was the boy looking so sad? Was he looking at his mother? At Will? It was odd and left Mike with a strange feeling nagging the back of his mind.

He shook his head. He was obviously exhausted. His eyes were feeling heavier by the minute. On his phone, 3.45 turned to 3.46 and he yawned, stretching his arms before taking the remote to turn off the TV. He pushed his feet on the ground to lift off the couch and yawned again as he made his way back up the stairs, feeling them creak under his feet. He crossed the dark and silent corridor like a wandering ghost and slipped back into the room he shared with his wife. A heavy smell of sleep burned his nostrils when he passed the door. Shutting his eyes, he listened to the snore coming from the left side of the bed with a mixed feeling of dread and relief. Jezebel hadn’t stirred.

On the other side of the corridor, secluded behind the door of Mike’s old bedroom, Nate had stilled under the covers, waiting for the trespasser to go away. He knew it was probably his dad and didn’t fancy another awkward encounter, especially as this late hour. He focused his hearing on his parents’ door. When he was sure he heard it close ever so gently, he resumed what he was previously doing, wrapping his hand around his cock again, his eyes locked on a photo of Will naked, his own hand around his gorgeous erection, his teeth digging into his lip as if he were inviting the viewer to join in the fun. Nate certainly was.

On June 24, Will’s movie _The man of average_ won the Berlin Film Festival. For the days that followed he was on every talk show to discuss his career and his film and in every magazine, parading with his two star actors. It annoyed Mike immensely but he was too desperate not to keep his eyes glued to his screen whenever Will was concerned. He had seen extracts of the film. It looked good but Mike wasn’t too sure about watching it for real. He had barely exchanged with Will, congratulating him by text only. Will was too busy with interviews to call Mike anyway. They were from different worlds.

In such a context, July arrived faster than they could have anticipated and soon, it was time to pack their bags for the big departure. Mike would have lied if he said he wasn’t excited. He was. Islavadora was beautiful. Plus, _Will_. They were leaving the next week for Miami. Once there, the plan was to take Will’s private jet to the Island because yes, Will was rich enough to have a private jet. Will was rich enough to own a damn island…

His wife was all over the place, cleaning the house as if they were leaving for the next decade. She was terrified of roaches and was absolutely convinced that if she didn’t bleach every corner, they would return to a bug-infected house and Mike knew better than to argue with her. He didn’t have the strength anyway. Nate was out to his friend Jessie this afternoon and Shelley and Julie were dozing in front of the TV. Shelley could have participated but she was in a bad mood and Mike didn’t have the patience to deal with an edgy teenager. He already had his son for that. So it was his job to check every room in the house for dirty plates and mugs while his wife hoovered the floors and cleaned the gutter.

He found empty bags of chips in his older daughter’s room - where did she even find those? - and a plate hidden in the second drawer of her desk. The plate was so dirty, life had almost started developing on the sides… He gagged and took it between two fingers with a grimace of absolute disgust before rushing to the stairs with the culprit.

“SHELLEY!” he yelled, “SHELLEY!”

The outburst was shortly followed by a long sigh, coming from below, “What?” his daughter said with all the gentleness of a rebellious thirteen year-old.

“What did I tell you about leaving dirty plates in your room?” Mike reprimanded.

“I’m sorry, I forgot!” she answered, not sounding sorry at all.

“I don’t want to see dirty plates in your room again, do you hear me?”

“Yeah, dad… Whatever you say!” he heard her mumble.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Nothing! I’m sorry. I love you dad. You’re the best dad in the world,” she rambled to shut him up.

He sighed and let it go. This was useless. She was just too stubborn. He turned the handle of Nate’s door with his empty hand, inspecting the last of the three rooms. The boy’s room was just as spotless as usual, the opposite of the vortex of entropy that was his sister’s. On his desk, he only found an empty glass of what probably was orange juice. He sniffled and took a step forward to grab the glass that he put on top of the plate he was already holding, knocking the computer mouse that happened to be on his way with the back of his other hand.

The computer screen immediately unlocked. Mike sighed again. How many times had he asked his kids not to let it on? Had he any parental authority in this house at all? It was clear they were not paying the electricity bill at the end of the month! Shaking his head and pushing the plate and glass on the desk, he took the mouse to shut the computer, hovering the cursor over the reduced programs in the shortcut menu. In addition to letting his computer on, Nate had also forgotten to close the programs! This boy! A video game was still running, as well as a Game of Thrones episode - he really wasn’t too happy about his son watching this show but Nate wasn’t a baby anymore - and a folder from his documents. The cursor passed over the folder tab in the menu and a preview window popped up, showing thumbnails of what appeared to be photographs. He frowned. On the thumbnails, the photos looked… familiar. His frown deepened.

He suddenly had a very bad feeling about this.

With a shaking hand, he clicked on the preview window to widescreen it. His heart missed a beat and his vision blurred for a second. He knew what he was seeing but for some reason, the logic part of his brain didn’t want to cooperate.

There were two things he noticed at once. The photos were all nudes. The photos were all nudes of Will. Now, the first part wasn’t so much of a bother. Mike wasn’t stupid. Nate was old enough to start having an interest in porn pictures. It was normal, healthy. The second part however left him deeply puzzled and a bit ill. That they featured a naked male, Mike didn’t really care. He’d had his doubts over his son’s sexual preferences for a while now. But that they featured his naked ex boyfriend - a porn actor he had personally dated, a man he almost raised Nate with… Now, that was the conundrum he hadn’t quite expected.

Why on Earth would Nate have nude pictures of Will in his computer? Why would Nate have _porn_ pictures of Will in his computer? One of them caught his attention in particular. Will was covered in a sheet so white, it looked almost transparent. Behind the sheet, you could see the outline of his body, his erected cock included. That last detail felt like a slap. The picture was terribly arousing but on his son’s computer, it just felt dirty. He shook his head with a grimace, swallowing a mouthful of bile at the horrible thoughts racing through his mind. At the same time, he heard his wife call his name. Still confused and shaken, he reduced the window again and let go of the mouse, taking the dirty plate and glass away with him.

He remained silent all evening and during dinner, looking at his son as if he were seeing him for the first time. The boy was oblivious, eating his mac and cheese with the innocence of the youth, excited to be going on a trip near Cuba the next week. Mike had trouble touching his food, letting his hand go heavy on the wine instead. He felt haunted, almost insane. Why would Nate have porn pictures of Will in his computer? The question rang incessantly in his head. A little voice was telling him the obvious but he couldn’t listen. He just couldn’t. Past conversations with Jezebel resurfaced, conversations he had pushed to the side a little too expressly. But what if she was right? What if Nate...? What if the time he intruded, Nate was busy looking at a video of Will? The thought made him gag and he pushed his plate in front of him loudly.

The conversations stopped and his family turned to look at him with a confused expression, “Are you ok, Mike?” Jezebel asked.

“I’m fine," he answered, going stiff, "Just need some air.”

He didn’t wait for them to continue and rushed off his chair into the back of the yard, hiding in the shed. This was where he went when he wanted to smoke without Jezebel pestering him. Ironically, this was also the place she too went to hide to smoke away from prying eyes. Only, she didn’t know he knew.

He remained locked in that shed for a long hour, unable to form coherent thoughts, his fingers curled around cigarette after cigarette. He hadn't smoked that much in a while. _Why would Nate have porn pictures of Will in his computer?_ Was it for art? A stupid bet maybe? A school report? No. Not a school report! But then, why? The little voice returned but again, Mike turned it off almost instantly. His son couldn't have this sort of thoughts for Will. It just wasn't possible. It couldn't be. Will had literally raised Nate. He was a second dad to the boy. Nate couldn't have seen him in any other way.

The little voice nudged at Mike again, whispering more insistently.

Technically, Will _wasn't_ Nate's dad at all. Will was much older than Nate but they weren't related in any way. And the man was beautiful. It was almost obvious for a teenager to have a crush on the guy. Mike knew Will was very popular among adolescents after all and he didn't have a problem with that. It was perfectly natural for a sixteen year-old to fancy guys like Will. The other kids. Not his. Not his son. It was too weird. He pinched the bridge of his nose between the fingers of the hand that wasn’t holding the cigarette. He didn’t like this, didn’t like this one bit.

Sleep eluded him again that night and the nights that followed. He didn’t say anything to Nate, almost ignoring the boy. He just couldn’t face him. His discovery was making him sick. Times and times again, he was tempted to spill the beans to his wife, asking for her opinion, but it would have made things only worse. She would have accused Will, cancelled their trip to Islavadora and as far as Mike was concerned, he didn’t think Will had anything to do with any of this. Hell, Mike was even probably reading too much into those pics. Maybe it was just a bad joke and Nate didn’t have any disturbing thoughts about the man.

The evening that preceded the departure, Mike couldn't take it anymore and went to knock on his son’s door. He had made sure Jezebel had gone to her yoga class with the girls to have the house free of eavesdropping. He knocked twice and turned the handle, peeking inside the room feeling more anxious than he would have liked. The teen was reading a comic book in his bed and lifted up his eyes to his dad with a frown.

“Hey kiddo,” Mike began with a forced smile that may have looked pretty awkward on the outside.

“Hey dad,” the boy answered, confused by his father’s behavior.

“You were not masturbating, were you?” Mike hurried to ask.

Nate’s nose immediately wrinkled and his lips puckered in a grimace, “Ew, no. Gosh…”

“Good. Good,” Mike quickly dismissed, “Can we talk?”

Nate blinked, “I don’t want to talk about masturbation with you.”

“I’m not here to talk about masturbation!” he huffed, walking into the room and closing the door behind him.

“Good. I already had mom freaking me out with her Bible, asking if I wanted to talk about it like I was gonna burst into flames if I did! It was awful!”

“Well, I’m pretty sure your mom was trying to do the right thing.”

“She really wasn’t. Really not.”

“Yeah… Listen, we need to talk about something, other than masturbation...”

“Ok…” Nate articulated slowly, looking with dread as his father took his desk chair to sit, “What do you want to talk about?”

Mike remained silent for long seconds, looking around him, as if inspecting the place and Nate was feeling more uncomfortable by the minute. Eventually, Mike cleared his throat and Nate knew this was up to no good. The last time his father had cleared his throat before speaking was when he came to announce their pet rabbit had drowned in the washing machine when he was twelve. At this point, anything was possible and Nate braced himself for the worst.

“It’s not easy to say,” Mike began, unaware of his son’s inner turmoil, “I was cleaning around the other day and I found something that left me… Well, pretty distraught to be honest.”

Nate swallowed, trying to calm his raging nerves. He knew what was coming. It was inevitable and he had been a fool to believe his father wouldn’t notice. Before he could stop himself, the words flew out of his mouth as he spurted an apology, “Sorry about the bottle, dad!” he exclaimed, “I didn’t want to finish it. It was Jessie’s idea. And then the bottle was empty and we didn’t know what to do with it so I hid it there. But it was just a one time thing. I’m not an alcoholic, I swear!” Nate stopped, feeling his heart race in his throat and his head. There, he said it. He confessed.

Mike blinked and his eyes widened as he stared into his distressed son in confusion, “What? What bottle? What are you talking about?”

It was Nate’s turn to be lost, “The bottle of wine behind my dresser…”

“Oh! You hid a bottle of wine behind your dresser? When was that?”

“Two weeks ago…”

“Oh! Hence my missing Merlot and your massive hangover!” Mike replied. Nate bit his lip, feeling stupid and his father shook his head at him, “You think I didn’t notice? Silly boy! I was fifteen before you even existed! I know what a hangover looks like! Jessie, eh? Anyway, no. I’m not here to talk about that. I didn’t even know about it… Although I would appreciate if you had the decency to at least ask before getting wasted on my most expensive bottles!”

Nate retreated into a ball, “Sorry.”

Mike kept shaking his head slowly, “Stealing my bottles with his friends… I knew this day would come! Anyway, I really didn’t come here to talk about this at all…” Nate felt the lump in his stomach lessen dramatically and he allowed his lungs to let go of the air he had been holding, that is, until his father spoke again, “I wanted to talk about the pictures I found on your computer.”

His brain shut down temporarily and he found himself locked into his own mind, searching for a way out. It didn’t help, “What?” he stuttered painfully, shooting upward in his bed, “What pictures?”

Mike’s eyes met his and Nate knew the game was over. He had never seen such a serious expression on his father’s face. He looked like he was about to announce a death sentence and in a way, he was. After those words, Nate’s life would never be the same.

“The nude pictures of Will.”

Nate’s world shattered. He felt his insides drop to the pit of his stomach, as if falling from a rollercoaster. Bile rose into his throat. He was going faint, “This… This isn’t what you think,” he began to ramble pitifully, tears burning his eyes, “I can explain.”

Mike silenced him with a gesture of his hand, “Please, don’t. I’m not here to punish you or yell at you. I just want to talk.”

Nate’s heart was beating so fast in his chest, he was sure his father could hear it.

“First of all, I want you to know that I never meant to snoop. It was an accident. I unlocked your computer screen when cleaning your desk and the image folder was still open. I really didn’t mean to intrude in your privacy, I promise.”

Mike’s voice was oddly calm. But Nate was too panic-stricken to listen.

“How many times did I tell you to shut your computer down when you leave the room?” Mike continued.

“I’m sorry…” Nate whispered, the tears falling on his cheeks.

Mike sighed. He didn’t want to make his son cry, “Nate… Please. No. Don’t cry. Please don’t. I’m not mad. I told you. I’m just surprised. That’s all. I never suspected any of that. Why do you have so many photos of Will naked? Please, talk to me.”

Nate blinked through the tears. He could have lied. He could have denied everything but what was the point? His father wasn’t stupid. And Nate’s reactions had already betrayed him anyway. It was over.

“I like him…” he whispered in that same small, broken voice.

Mike closed his eyes, his head falling in his hands. Until the very last moment he had hoped this was just some sort of distasteful joke. Given the boy’s reaction, it clearly was not. The joke was on him.

“Ok…” he said, trying his best to keep his cool. The boy looked very upset. He didn’t want to antagonize him any further, “When you say you like him, you mean, you’re… attracted to him? As in… physically?” Nate nodded blankly and Mike took a sharp intake of air, “I see…”

He remained silent for a few seconds, searching his words. This really wasn’t a situation he had been prepared for. In retrospect, it was probably very naive of him not to. Nate wasn’t looking at him, too busy being lost inside the maze of his own head.

“Look,” Mike said again, “It’s not the fact that those photos were pornographic that puzzled me. Nor the fact that they were male oriented. It’s ok to have porn pictures at your age. And there’s nothing wrong about being attracted to other boys. I do have a problem however with the protagonist of those pictures… I just don’t understand, Nate. Will has always been like a surrogate father to you… He has always taken care of you like his own kid,” A terrible thought crossed his mind and he hated himself for it, “Or hasn’t he?”

Nate looked up and frowned, “What?” he croaked.

“Has Will ever done anything to… encourage those feelings?” Mike mumbled, feeling dirty as the words left his mouth. Poor Will. If he knew the things Mike was being forced to say, he would be sick.

“What? No! My God, no!” Nate vehemently countered, “He doesn’t even know I like him.”

Mike let go of the breath he had been holding, “Ok. So, is it the fact that he does porn?” he tried again, “I mean, it’s a pretty… daring job. I can understand it fascinates you.”

“No, no, no! It has nothing to do with his job!” Nate retorted with a grimace of disgust.

“Because he’s older? I was attracted to older men too when I was your age. I could understand.”

Nate didn’t seem to notice his father had tried to share personal information and shook his head, “No! I don’t care about his age!”

“Then why, Nate?” Mike insisted, sounding tired.

“Because he’s perfect!” Nate answered, annoyed, “He’s gorgeous, smart, funny. He’s a talented artist and a wonderful human being. It’s impossible not to be in love with him! I don’t care he does porn! I never have! I didn’t even know he did porn until recently!”

Mike swallowed in distress hearing the confession, “So you mean that you’ve had those… feelings for some time now?”

“I’ve always loved him,” Nate admitted, “Always. All of you saying that he’s like my second dad… Not to me. Never to me.” Mike flinched and Nate huffed, “See, you’re disgusted!”

“I’m not,” he lied, his hand covering his mouth.

“Yes, you are.”

Mike shook his head, “Nate, you can understand how disturbing this is for me,” Nate shrugged, “I mean, put yourself in my position. You’re my son. My baby boy. And Will is my ex boyfriend. The first person to hold you as a baby after your mom and I. It’s… terribly unsettling. I just don’t understand how I could have missed that.”

Nate shrugged again, “You’re blind to everything when Will is concerned anyway…”

Mike swallowed. The boy wasn’t wrong. He had so many questions… Questions he wasn’t sure he had the courage to ask. Even less the courage to hear the answer of.

“Have you watched any of his videos?” he tried after a while. He waited and eventually, Nate nodded. The lump in his throat was so thick, it made it almost difficult to breathe, “How many of them?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Nate shrugged, “A few… Those you can find on pornhub...”

Mike inhaled deeply again, “Listen, Nate. I’ll always support you if you’re gay-”

“-I’m not gay!” Nate countered with emotion, “I just like Will. Just him. No one else. I’m not gay.”

Mike nodded feebly, “Ok. Whatever. I’ll always support you - even if you’re not gay. But please, do try to focus your affection on someone else. The idea of you having… thoughts on him makes me terribly uneasy. I won’t lie about that.”

Nate chuckled darkly, not looking up from the focus point on his lap, “Why? Afraid I’m gonna steal your man?” he bitterly slurred.

Mike’s heart missed a beat, “What?”

Nate shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s like you’re jealous or something…”

“I’m not jealous!” Mike exclaimed although it did sound fake to his own ears which was preposterous. He couldn’t be jealous of his own kid!

“You could be. I look like you after all. I’m basically a younger, hotter, version of you. I'm literally the age you had when you and Will started fucking…"

Mike’s expression hardened immediately, “First of all, that is not true. We started having sex when we were seventeen, not fifteen, so older than you,” Nate rolled his eyes, “Second of all, I'm trying very hard to remain civil, here, Nate. And it's becoming really difficult, trust me. Don't push me, kid."

Nate shrugged. For someone with such a smart mouth, he looked particularly dejected, "Whatever. It's not like I had any chance anyway… If I don’t see him as my dad, he clearly sees me like his kid!” he spat.

The heartbreak in Nate's voice hurt Mike and he went to sit on his son's bed, beside him, "Nate…" he said, his voice soft again, "Will loves you." It sounded lame, even to his ears, “Not the way you want, ok. But he does…”

"I don't want to be his kid!" Nate whined, "I want him to be my lover!" Mike froze, every fiber in his being in complete shock. He truly hadn't anticipated those words. And boy, how dirty they sounded! Nate didn't seem to have noticed and continued, "I bet he's a killer in bed!"

Mike tried to breath through his nose. He honestly had no idea how those handle such intimate confessions. On a positive note, his son felt apparently comfortable enough to open up on a very personal level but at what cost...

“You’re freaking out…” Nate mumbled in a sad voice.

“What? No, no. I’m not.”

“Liar.”

“Well, it’s just odd hearing you say those words. You’re my baby boy.”

“I’m not a baby!”

“You are to me.”

Nate shrugged, “Will told me you left him because of his job. Is it true?”

Mike turned to look at him with wide, alarmed eyes, “You asked Will about my relationship with him?”

Nate shrugged, “I was curious.”

“I don’t want you to ask Will about things like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t concern you.”

The boy dismissed him, “So, is it true?” he asked again.

Mike shook his head and let go of a deep sigh, “I’m really not comfortable having this conversation with you, Nate…” Seeing that the kid was still awaiting an answer, he braced himself and continued, “I can imagine that someone like Will is like a sex God to you. You’re young, inexperienced.. It’s understandable.”

“I’m not inexperienced!” Nate vividly complained.

Mike paused and sent his son a pointed look, “Really? Have you ever had an actual sexual relationship with something other than your hand?”

Nate glared at him, “No.”

“Then you’re inexperienced and my point still stands.” Nate shrugged but Mike ignored him, “My mistake was to believe that my relationship with Will would make it impossible for you guys to see him as something else than a father figure. I admit, I didn’t anticipate that. It’s on me. From a logical perspective, I can see why it happened now. Will is a gorgeous man. He’s obscenely rich and famous. I can imagine that for a teenager raised in a traditional environment, Will appears like some sort of subversive hero. He’s like an embodiment of freedom and self-assessment. There is something fascinating about that on paper.”

“I don’t care about his job!” Nate repeated.

“But it’s part of the fascination. No matter what you say.”

“No, it’s not. Besides, I know you hate his job. You dumped him because of it… He told me. So obviously, you have a bias against that!”

There were some accusatory notes in Nate’s voice that didn’t sit well with Mike and the man stared at his son for a long second, trying to read him through. And he didn’t like the fact that Will had talked about them to his son. He would have to say a few words about that when he was him.

“Dating a porn star is complicated, Nate,” Mike said, “Trust me. You probably think it’s hot and sexy. It’s really not. It’s cold, embarrassing and very lonely. To be harrassed by pervs all the time. The disgusting letters, the insults, the threats… Not being able to enjoy a single movie date because some weirdo had decided to stalk Will while we were trying to have dinner. The allusions they made about us. About me… Intimacy is supposed to be special for a couple. You’ll see when you get there. Something that is shared just by the two of you. Like a secret. The hesitancy, the lack of skills… Sometimes it’s just very nervous and not very good but that’s what makes it so wonderful. So magical. Learning together. Being awkward together. With Will, there was none of that left. Sure, to answer your question, he’s a killer in bed. He’s a professional. So yes, he’s good. If for you, good means skilled. Then yes, Will is highly skilled. His technique is perfect. But in the end, that’s all there is, a technique. Having sex with Will is like having sex with a robot. It’s mechanical, calculated. Not to mention the problem of STDs. In the 1990’s, when Will started doing porn, the AIDS epidemic was ravaging the gay community. We could have caught that awful virus dozens of times. We never did but that still terrifies me to this day. And you have no idea what it’s like to date someone who sleeps with other people all day long, who uses chemical products to keep unnatural erections, who talks about his own body like a piece of meat… It was far from sexy.”

“So you rejected him?”

“I asked him to make a choice. To choose between us and his job. He chose his job. And I’m fine with that. He’s better off with Ravi. They have the same job. The same way of seeing things. It’s easier for everyone. Besides, I have you guys. You wouldn’t exist if I had stayed with Will.”

“Do you even love mom?” The boy’s question was almost too soft to hear and it broke Mike’s heart.

Mike frowned, taken off guard, “Yes, I do. Of course I do!”

“But you prefer men.” It wasn’t a question.

Mike sighed, “Nate, I really don’t want to talk about that. You shouldn’t concern yourself with your father’s sexual orientation. Focus on your life.”

“Have you ever cheated on mom with a man?”

“No! Of course not! What kind of question is that?!”

Nate shrugged apologetically. A moment passed during which none of them said a word. Nate was looking at his feet and Mike staring at him quietly, observing him.

“Dad?”

“Mmh?”

“Are you mad?”

“No.

“Freaking out?”

“No.” He was freaking out! He was freaking out alright!

“Please don’t tell mom anything. She’d lose her mind and accuse Will and Will hasn’t done anything at all.”

“I know. I won’t tell her. But she’s being suspicious, you know.”

“I know. She’s mom.”

Mike nodded. He pushed on his feet to lift up off the bed.

“Dad?” Nate called again.

Mike turned to look at his son, “Yes?”

“I’m sorry I said I was gonna steal your man. I won’t. It’s not like I have a shot anyway…” He was back to looking depressed and Mike felt his heart tighten. He hated seeing his child in distress.

“Nate,” he said, “I know it looks impossible now but this infatuation will pass. I promise. You just need to meet someone else. Preferably someone your age.”

Nate shrugged, “I don’t care about them.”

Mike pulled his lips into a thin line, “Maybe not now. But maybe that’ll change.”

The boy heaved his shoulders again, “Maybe…”

Mike sighed and patted his son’s head, “It’s gonna be alright. I promise.”

Nate looked up to meet his eyes, “Please, don’t tell Will I like him. He’ll freak out.”

“I won’t.”

Nate nodded slowly, “Thanks…”

Mike smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair tenderly, “If you could limit your consumption of Will’s videos, I would appreciate it. Do it for your old man.”

“I’ll try.”

“Thanks.”

He spent the rest of the evening in the study, enjoying a moment alone after such a rambunctious exchange. They were leaving for Florida the next day and Mike was feeling anxious and edgy. It wasn’t just about Nate’s confession. It was him too. He should have been excited spending a full two weeks with Will on their beautiful island but he was terrified. His reflection in the mirror certainly sent a poor image. The pounds he had tried to shed hadn’t come off and the idea of disrobing in front of Will made him awfully insecure, so ashamed he was of the sad show he would offer the man he loved most. His swim trunks were almost too short and his belly popped above the waistline. He looked nothing like the lanky twenty-year old Will had loved so many times deep into the night and that fact was enough to make him weep.

With his headphones secured around his ears, blasting old rock songs, he took the small box that hid most of his treasures and opened it to reveal the pictures it contained. There were old pictures from a time long gone. Although he knew what he’d see looking at them, his heart still beat with that little pang of anticipated pain. He turned it around and stared at the young man in his leather jacket, rebel and free. He remembered that time as if he were still living it in his head. _1990, San Francisco, The old Parrot._ The secret hotspot of the wildest gay nights on the bay. Will was looking at him with that little smirk. He hadn’t started doing porn yet. It was still just the two of them. Will already had a couple of tattoos on his arm. He was beautiful even then and Mike remembered. He remembered how happy they were, how free. He remembered how he thought this would last forever. He blinked at the picture staring deeply at Will’s hand on his arm and the smile on his youthful face and his heart missed a beat, suddenly taken by fear, Nate’s words making their way back into his head.

_Afraid I’m gonna steal your man?_

His forehead broke into a scowl as his heart began to beat faster. What a ridiculous thought! The pain and fear spread to his guts as his mind came up with an image of Nate, still blessed with the beauty of youth.

_I’m basically a younger, hotter, version of you._

He shook his head, putting the photograph back into the box that he closed in haste. Ridiculous! And yet, the pangs didn’t go away for long minutes.

His phone buzzed with a new notification from Twitter, shaking him from his thoughts. Will had posted a new video on his feed. He frowned and clicked on the popin that redirected to the video instantly. The title made him gag a bit, announcing the color.

** _Truth or False - Debunking the myth of the porno industry with Will Byers._ **

He sniffled, curious and anxious at the same time. He waited a moment, hesitating, before pressing the play button. He was too Will Byers addicted to resist anyway.

“Hello everyone! It’s Will Byers. Welcome back to my channel!”

Mike chuckled. Will was always so very enthusiastic on his videos. He was dressed casually, a white shirt and a pair of jeans. But even that simple outfit looked sinful on him. He swallowed.

“Today I wanted to do a short FAQ to answer the questions you guys ask me the most. So let’s go!”

The image switched to a black screen and a text appeared in white.

_ **Question 1: Porn actors don’t have any pleasure, it’s all fake.** _

Mike took a deep breath. It started great… Just the thing he had been talking to his son about moments ago. Were they being watched or something?

The image switched on Will who gave his answer, sounding very comfortable with the subject.

“I’m asked that very, very often. Do we have pleasure? Or is it fake? First, it’s important to remember that porn actors are actors. Our job is primarily to follow a script, not take our rocks off. So it really depends. Sometimes, I’ll fake it, if I’m tired and the shooting’s been going on for five hours. But that doesn’t mean that I never have fun on set. I do actually. I really do. Especially on videos that I shoot with friends. Of course, it’s not the case for all porn actors but I truly think that it’s important to enjoy ourselves. It makes the whole thing much more authentic and healthy. But that’s my opinion! So no, we don’t _always_ fake it. But the question is: can you tell when we do?!” he winked.

Mike huffed. He certainly could.

The image faded to the second question.

_ **Question 2: Porn actors have a higher risk at getting STD’s.** _

Ah. The STD’s. The number one Nemesis of Mike and Will’s love…

“Twenty years ago, that would have been true,” Will conceded as he answered, “There wasn’t any legislation then. And I know many actors who fell to the AIDS crisis. That’s unfortunate and sad. Today however, things have changed a lot. And in most serious companies, porn actors are tested every two weeks. It used to be every month, now it’s every fifteen days. We go through a complete checkup with blood works. We’re tested for AIDS but also chlamydia and Gonorrhea. And if they find something, we’re immediately put in quarantine with a treatment. We stop working and the people we worked with are immediately tested too and also put in quarantine if need be. We can only return to work when the infection is completely gone and treated. If it wasn’t the case before, we now take the subject of STD’s very seriously in the pornographic industry. So to answer the question, _no_, porn actors don’t have a higher risk at getting STD’s. We actually test way more than most people! Because most people will only get tested for AIDS and will forget all about the rest,” he pointed at the camera with an accusatory finger, “So do it! Even if you’re married! _Especially_ if you’re married!”

Mike swallowed again and shook his head.

The image faded to another question.

** _Question 3: Porn actors are brutes and bullies._ **

“Ah, the lovely reputation of men in the porno industry,” Will joked. “Well, I can’t say it’s a complete lie. We certainly give a bad image. There are two reasons for that. First, as I said, we follow a script and most scripts are written by people who want to make money. And rough sex sells. It’s sad but it’s true. So yes, we follow scripts that can sometimes get a bit heavy. We can hit our partner, insult them, give an impression of being mean and violent. It’s true. I plead guilty for that too. There are movies that I made, especially in the beginning of my career, where I played the part of the dominant top with a bit too much enthusiasm!”

Mike raised his brow. He certainly remembered _that_ and the fights that ensued.

Will continued, “There’s a big obsession with power in the porn industry, especially male power. I’m not saying it’s a good thing but that’s what people want to see. They want to see big macho men because it reassures them. It validates their own masculinity. And that’s the second reason. We live in a macho world and porn is but a reflection of that world. Again, I’m not saying it’s good. Or healthy. In retrospect, I realize that having so many rape scenes in porn movies doesn’t help make things better. Many people will tell you that it’s just a fantasy, like a harmless game. I don’t believe that. Not anymore. I used to. And when I shot scenes where I spat on my partner or called them a whore, to me it was just a game. I followed my script. And by doing that, I was part of the problem. We have a responsibility. Giving an image of violence, whether in the way we treat women or male bottoms is not ok. It feeds the sexism and homophobia of our society, it encourages it. I’m trying to change things, have more tenderness and gentleness in the movies I make. More hugs and kisses. I try to erase notions of hierarchy too. I’m known as a top. I built my career on that reputation. But lately, I’ve tried to distance myself from it and shoot scenes where I bottom a lot more.”

Mike choked. That was new! When did that happen?!

“And the good thing is that it’s been received really well. People are actually pretty excited seeing roles reversed. And it’s been really fun doing it too! I think it will take some time before men in the industry let go of their beast-like behavior but I’m confident we’ll get there eventually. The world is changing after all. And if we do it right, the porn industry will follow.”

Mike’s ears had turned crimson, his heart beating way too fast. _Will was bottoming_. That never happened in Mike’s time. No matter how often he begged, ensuring Will that he’d be gentle and careful. Will never let him. He never trusted him enough to. And that, that hurt Mike even now. His lips puckered in a grimace. Years of rigid sexual roles and now, Will was letting others do what Mike was never allowed to. He swallowed a thick lump of resentment. That would sting for a while.

The fourth question popped. _Porn actors can keep erections for a long time._ But he stopped the video. He knew what Will would say about that. He had lived it. He still remembered the time he had to rush his boyfriend to the hospital because he had taken too much of that stimulant and had been forced to keep an erection for more than eighteen hours. In the end, they had to pump the blood out of his dick and he returned home with a bandage! How glorious! No, he really didn’t want to hear about that. He’d seen enough. The sex educations videos he made were interesting and helpful but the porn part was a lot more awkward as far as Mike was concerned.

He sniffled and threw the phone beside him, lost in thoughts.

He wondered what kind of videos his son had seen… He didn’t like this. Didn’t like this at all… Mike hadn’t watched any of Will’s videos in a very long time. He hated them. They were obscene and made him physically ill. He wasn’t against porn per se but seeing the man he loved using sex with that much nonchalance was just too painful.

His phone suddenly flashed again. He frowned. Will had sent him a text. His heart quickened as he read it.

_“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”_

He filled his lungs with air and his chest heaved. He took a deep sigh and blinked, licking his lip as he quickly tapped a half hearted answer.

_“Me too.”_

A few hundred miles away, Will read the message and smiled, feeling warmer again.

They arrived in Miami in the afternoon after almost missing their flight due to Shelley’s latest eccentricity. She was having a statistics phase based on accidents and other hazards and couldn’t be talked out of carrying a parachute in her bag in case the plane exploded. Jezebel had tried to take it away to no avail. When they registered for boarding, the parachute in Shelley’s backpack happened to pose a major issue and after a good hour fighting with her daughter and a tour in the flight attendant’s office, they managed to calm the teenager and convince her to let it to the care of the staff.

Ravi was waiting for them at the airport without Will - for many reasons - and Mike did his best to hide his disappointment. They boarded on a smaller plane that would take them to the island, thirty minutes away from the shore. Ravi wasn't driving. They had a personal pilot doing the job.

Islavadora wasn’t an important island but it was beautiful. Luxurious and colorful, framed by crystal clear waters. In the center of the island, there was an impressive Spanish villa at least three times bigger than the Wheeler house with creamy walls, red roof and a hacienda surrounding a bar and a pool. Its location was difficult enough to reach to deter even the most determined of fans and allow them the privacy they needed. It was also the place where Will had shot many of his movies, the scenery being absolutely perfect for wild shootings. It wasn’t Mike’s first visit. Will had bought the island a few years prior and invited them quite often ever since. Still, the place looked magical every time. A piece of Paradise he and Jezebel could have never afforded. The best they could do in terms of vacation was the cabin by the lake he and his sisters shared during the year. Not that Nancy came often.

The three children were excited and jumped off the plane the moment they landed, looking around them with wide eyes. It was endearing, seeing them so happy. Will came to greet them and Mike felt his insides shrink to nothing when he saw him. Contrary to Mike who was cladded in way too many clothes to hide the misery of his own physical condition, Will was only wearing flip flops, shorts and a deep blue shirt that he had left completely unbuttoned, leaving his sun kissed chest and well defined stomach fully visible, his face half covered by a pair of huge black sunglasses. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Nate stare at Will with an awestruck expression. Of course! It wasn’t difficult to understand why. The man looked like a Hollywood Superstar walking straight from a model magazine!

Will smiled at them warmly and pulled Mike in his arms, embracing him tightly, “I’m so glad you came,” he whispered in his ear.

Mike swallowed, stunned. He could feel the taut muscles of his back against his hands. His skin had been warmed up by the summer sun and he smelled fresh, a mix of strong male cologne and ocean. It was making him dizzy, almost hard. He had forgotten the effect Will had on him, “I’m glad too,” he answered in a raspy voice, trying not to show anything.

They stayed pressed up against each other for long seconds until Mike pulled away, sensing the burning glare of his wife somewhere on his cheek. Will was still smiling and for a moment, it was just the two of them again. It didn't last long and Will turned to hug Jezebel and the kids. Mike observed the exchange he had with Nate with renewed attention. Nate looked red in the face, his eyes shining with excitement as Will clapped his shoulder. On the outside, it looked innocent enough but Mike knew it wasn't. The boy’s heart was probably dancing widely in his chest. Now that Mike knew the truth, it was obvious. No wonder Jezebel had had her suspicions for years. The real question was, how could Will not notice anything?

Will offered them a tour of the house and Mike remembered why this place was so impressive. It was huge. Eight bedrooms, five bathrooms, a lounge room as big as their first stair, an art room for Will and a patio with a Jacuzzi, a bar and a large turquoise swimming pool. The two hectares garden was also very nicely arranged with its flowers and fruit trees. You could hear the crickets sing in the branches, making the whole place very peaceful. There was also a small private beach that was accessible via a dirt path.

Will paraded around the house, popping cherry tomatoes in his mouth as he went. Thirty five years ago, Mike had befriended a small boy alone on a swing. Thirty five years later, that same little boy had morphed into a modern Gatsby. No one in his acquaintances was as accomplished as Will Byers. He was the embodiment of the American ideal of the self made man. A pornstar with the lifestyle of an English dandy.

As it was expected, the three children immediately changed into their bathing suits and jumped in the pool while Ravi made cocktails for everyone. Jezebel took a Martini, relaxing in one of the numerous lounge chairs. She didn’t say anything but Mike knew she was quite content being there. It was a real vacation. One they didn’t have often. And God knew, she needed it. Mike didn’t leave his blouse and jeans, uncomfortable with the idea of showing skin in front of Will, busy playing with the kids. Mike’s eyes focused particularly on Nate and how the boy laughed and searched the older man’s touch. The way he flirted with Will, unknowingly to Will’s attention, was disturbing at best. But Mike didn’t say anything and observed in silence the scene unfold before him. A younger, hotter, version of him. A chill ran down his spine and he averted his eyes.

The afternoon passed in a blur.

At the end of the day, Will joined Mike on the patio, offering him a glass of whisky that he accepted. On the horizon, the sun was slowly setting on the sea, forming a cloud of red and pink into the sky. It was hypnotic.

“This house is gorgeous,” Mike said.

“Thanks. I’m glad you like it.”

Mike turned to check on Will. The man had changed into a white shirt, his hair still wet from his nautical fun. Even in such a basic outfit, Will looked fine as Hell and Mike’s heart quickened. The color of the shirt complimented beautiful the golden hue of his tan. Will suddenly bent to the left, brushing past Mike, and pushed on a button, tuning on the hot tub. Mike swallowed in apprehension. He felt Will’s eyes search his as he removed his white shirt, revealing his athletic body once more. On anyone else, the gesture would have been casual. But Will was an expert at disrobing and the effect on Mike was immediate. His body burst in heat and he looked away in shame.

“Care to join me?” Will asked in a low, inviting voice, as he slipped into the tub. Fortunately, he was still wearing his trunks or Mike’s heart couldn’t have held it.

“I don’t know…” Mike answered, his face flushed with embarrassment.

“Come on,” Will urged, “You didn’t leave your jeans all day. Come relax a bit," Mike sighed and hesitated again. Will was looking at him expectantly, waiting, “Come on, Wheeler. Strip!” he insisted, splashing him playfully.

The bubbles in the tub were making so much noise, it was almost covering their voices. After a moment of indecision, he began to unbutton his blouse with trembling fingers, sensing Will’s burning eyes on his every gesture. The blouse fell to the ground, uncovering a white, hairy belly that was way too loose for Mike’s liking.

“Behold the sexiness of the dad bod,” he joked darkly.

Will smiled, “You look fine. Nothing a bit of exercise couldn't fix. Like most guys our age."

"You look damn good…" Mike muttered, stumbling awkwardly into the tub, on the opposite side to make sure they wouldn't touch.

Will shrugged, taking a sip of his whisky from the cup holder, "Don't exactly have a choice. My body's my work tool. I gotta look good if I want to sell it."

Mike nodded even if he didn't like how Will talked about his body.

"Besides,” Will continued, “I work out ten hours a week to keep this body in shape. And I don't eat pizza!" Will’s feet touched his ankle and Mike jumped, a small thrill running in parts of his body that remained dormant most of the year, “Sorry,” Will apologized, not looking sorry at all.

Mike shook his head and swallowed. How could a single touch ignite so much fire? Will took a cigarette from a pack nearby and Mike watched as he slipped it between his lips to light it.

"You don't eat pizza but you do smoke.”

Will shrugged, taking a drag and exhaling the smoke, “I have my vices.”

“Too many of them. You smoke too much. You drink too much. You fuck too much.”

“I have an excuse for that one. It’s my job.”

“Yes, it is…” Mike hissed, not able to hide the disdain in his tone.

“Oh, don’t start!” Will huffed.

There was another moment of silence. Mike tried to relax into the Jacuzzi but was having a hard time succeeding. He wasn’t much of a hot tub fan. The water was too warm and the bubbles smelled funny. He moved a bit, trying to find a more comfortable position, as far away from Will’s body as possible.

“I’ll try to exercise more,” Mike said, “I feel bigger than Jez when she was pregnant with our kids! It’s gross.”

Will chuckled, “You’ll always be the sexiest man in the world to me!” There was a gentleness in his voice that made Mike chock.

“Please, don’t flirt.” He really didn’t need that.

“I’m not flirting.”

“Yes, you are. You’re always flirting and my wife is just across.”

“Can she hear us?” Will asked smugly.

Mike shook his head, “You’re unbelievable!” He cleared his throat, “Speaking of that, care to tell me why you told my son about us?”

Will frowned, “About what?”

“Our breaking up circumstances.”

Will took another drag and puffed the smoke toward Mike slowly, “The kid was curious. I answered his questions. Evasively.”

“I don’t like that. Please don’t do it again. I don’t want you to talk to Nate about us!”

“Why? Ashamed?”

“No. But my private life shouldn’t concern him. Only us.”

“Ok. For my defense, I didn’t want to answer but he was being very persistent.”

“Yes, do that. Blame it on my kid.”

“I’m not blaming him! I’m just telling you why I told him what I did.”

Mike rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. Silence returned and Mike watched Will pull repeatedly on his reducing cigarette, watching the orange tip slip between those lips. Smoking should have never been so erotic. Will met his eyes and Mike swallowed, uncomfortable. He was getting hard.

“Congratulations again for your movie, by the way,” he said, trying to kill his boner with small talk.

“Thanks,” Will nodded, finishing his cigarette.

“I really wanted to call but I’ve been awfully busy with work,” Mike added although it was a lie. He could have called Will a hundred times already, “Sorry.”

Will shook his head, “It’s ok. I was busy too.”

Mike nodded, “Why didn’t you tell me anything? This sounds like a really important project for you.”

Will shrugged, “I know you don’t like hearing about my job. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Still. You could have told me. I’m not a stranger…”

“Have you seen it?” He sounded hopeful.

Mike shook his head, “Not yet. It’ll depend on the level of clothes you’re wearing in it.”

“I don’t act in it. Besides, why would it matter… It’s not like you’ve never seen me without clothes before!”

“Hasn’t anybody else?” Mike answered in mild mockery.

Will kicked his leg again and Mike flinched at the contact, “Blablabla. I'm not naked in it, if that can reassure you. And I'm not fucking anyone either.”

“I don’t know if I should feel relieved or terribly disappointed,” Mike noted.

Will raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t know you missed my cock this much!”

Mike rolled his eyes, “Still obsessed with your cock, I see.”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Will said, shrugging, “It’s worth millions after all.”

“Such a modest man, you are…”

“Have you looked around you?”

“If I didn’t know you, I’d say you have something to compensate with that _huge_ house!” Mike joked.

Will smirked, “What does your ass have to say about that?”

Mike shook his head. Will could become extremely crude when he had a bit too much to drink, “Will. My wife is over there. Behave.” Will winked, unaffected by Mike’s warning, “Speaking about cocks, how many have you sucked in that tub exactly?” He was still disturbed by the heavy smell.

“Why? Are you offering?”

“No. I just want to know in how many liters of junk I’m currently dipping my body into. It smells weird.”

“That’s the disinfectant,” Will said, “To answer your question, zero. I’m not an idiot. I knew you were coming with your family. I got the whole place entirely cleaned before your arrival. I’m not a pig, Mike."

“I know.”

“Then please don’t insult me.”

“Sorry.”

Will shook his head slowly. He looked offended, “And for your information, I haven’t shot anything in that tub for a year. So no junk.”

“Not even yours?”

“Not even mine.”

“I’m impressed,” Mike noted and Will stuck his tongue out at him.

There was a moment of silence again. Both sipped on their glass. Will wasn’t looking at him. In the sky, the sun had completely disappeared into the sea and the stars were beginning to pop.

“Who’s Adam?” Mike asked after a while, taking Will off guard.

Will’s eyebrow rose again in surprise, “I thought you hadn’t seen it?”

“I didn’t. I just saw an interview of you speaking about it.”

“Mmh mmh…”

“So? Who’s Adam?”

“He’s just a character.”

“Cut the bullshit, Byers. The plot is awfully familiar. A pornstar in love with a regular guy. Really, Will? Is this why you didn’t tell me anything? Because you wrote a movie about us and didn’t want me to freak out?” He was losing control. Blame it on the disinfectant and the whisky.

Will’s expression hadn’t faltered a bit, “Is it? Is the story about Mike and Will?”

“Don’t try to beat around th-”

“-is it, _Micheal?_ As far as I know, the names of my characters are Eric and Adam.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s just a pretext and you know it!” Mike dismissed him. He hated it when Will played those games and said his name just to pull on his leg. He’d had this childish habit ever since they were kids and Mike didn’t have the patience anymore. He already had kids at home, three of them, and didn’t need one more to add insult to injury.

Will shook his head, “You’re reading way too much into this. It’s just a piece of fiction.”

“I’m not. A bartender falling in love with a pornstar!” Mike huffed, “You couldn’t have made it more obvious. You should have told me you’re still fantasizing about us!”

“Are you a bartender?” Will cut him off.

“No -”

“-then it’s not you.”

“Doesn’t need to. It’s all the same.”

“No, it’s not. You were never a bartender. You can’t even serve a glass of wine correctly!”

“That is simply not true!”

“Yes, it is!”

“No!”

“Mike, please…”

“You wrote that movie about us, I know you did!” He was so taken by their exchange that his voice had grown significantly louder and Will gestured behind them in distress. Mike swallowed, checking from the corner of his eye his wife’s whereabouts. It really wasn’t the moment for Jezebel to hear that conversation, “You wrote that movie about us, I know you did!” he repeated, his voice ushered down.

“If that makes you happy to believe that…” Will conceded in pity.

“I don’t believe anything-”

“-you should have told me you missed me this much,” Will continued in the same tone, “I would have indulged you, you know.”

“Oh shut up!” Mike exclaimed.

“-taken care of that little frustration!”

“Shut up! I’m not frustrated!” Mike yelled in a controlled whisper.

“If you really need a fix, you can still Google me. I’m everywhere. And I bottom now!” he said in a wink.

Mike huffed bitterly, “Yeah… That sure never happened with me...” Yes, he was still mad about that.

“It's not too late!” Will said in a low, seductive voice. He was looking at Mike with hungry eyes, “You need only ask,” he continued, falling forward toward Mike to whisper, “And I’ll bend over for you. Anywhere you want. I've been told I moan beautifully!"

Mike’s erection stirred. That was bad. Bad, bad, bad, “Please, stop. You’re being gross,” he spat to hide his discomfort.

Will was looking at him with repressed anger, “As always.”

Mike shook his head. A part of him wished Will would just act on those words instead of staying unnervingly silent. After a few seconds, Will finally looked away, pushing his empty glass of whisky back into the cup holder.

“Wanna go for a swim?” he proposed, brutally changing the subject, as if he hadn't made obscene propositions to Mike just moments ago.

“What? Now?”

“Yes, now. The water is very nice at this hour.”

“I don’t think so…”

Will rolled his eyes, “Come on! What’s gotten into you? You love swimming! And you remained shackled to your seat all day! Like you were afraid to drown on the concrete!”

“I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Come on, Mike."

“Maybe later but not now. Besides, I need to go give Julie her bath. It’s getting late.”

Will shook his head slowly, “Who’s using pretexts now?” he whispered, cold and serious. Mike flinched but didn’t answer, still avoiding the other man.

Will observed him in silence for a minute before standing up from the bench, “I didn’t write a movie about us,” he said “For the sole reason that there is no us. Hasn't been for a very long time," He flung his leg above the tub onto the small stairs and bent to whisper in Mike’s ear very slowly, "You made sure of that when you chose to impregnate a woman behind my back."

He darted his tongue out to lick at Mike’s cheek obscenely and pulled away, disappearing behind the bushes, leaving Mike alone and trembling. He wasn't so sure it was a good idea to have come after all.

Will stormed into the house, trying to calm his ragged breath and racing heart. He was an idiot. A complete fool. What was he thinking? Mike was married! And he was losing control like a beginner. He pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply. This was a huge mistake.

"Will?"

He frowned and turned to check on the intruder. Nate was looking at him curiously. He sniffled, forcing a smile to plaster his face, "Hey kiddo!"

"Are you ok?" the boy asked with a worried expression.

“Sure I am! What’s up?”

Nate shrugged, “Nothing. I was just looking for you.”

“Well, I’m here!”

Nate smiled and Will replied with the same expression, observing the boy with a pang in his heart. The boy for whom Mike had betrayed him fifteen years ago. He could still see Mike’s anxious scowl when he announced him he had gotten the girl he met at that stupid Fair pregnant. It was the day everything fell apart. Will had tried hating the boy. He had tried so hard. But he couldn’t. Nate was such a sweet kid. He was the child of the man he loved. He was innocent. So was Jezebel. All of this was Mike’s fault. He was the one who decided to go play Prince and Princesses. Even after all these years, Will couldn’t forgive. His heart was still too heavy.

“Did you paint that?” Nate suddenly asked, pointing at a painting hanging on the wall behind him. It was a portrait of his mother.

“Yes,” he said.

“It’s beautiful. You’re super talented.”

The compliment brought a smile to Will’s lips, “Thank you.” Nate beamed at him. He looked happy, “Did you have a nice day?”

Nate nodded, “It was great, yes.”

“I’m glad.”

“I saw you had jet skis,” Nate said again.

“Do you like them?”

“I do.”

Will nodded, “We can go for a ride tomorrow if you want!”

Nate’s eyes widened in excitement, “Oh I’d love that!”

Will smiled softly, “That's settled then!”

Nate beamed at him, looking at Will with those deep brown eyes. His father’s eyes. Will swallowed, his heart heavy again. He extended his arm to ruffle the boy’s hair gently, chuckling at the puppy expression on Nate’s face. At least one of them was happy to spend some time with him.

This invitation had been a huge mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of it :)


End file.
